Kate Motaung, Author at Allen Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Strategies to Seek Help for Depression

Strategies to Seek Help for Depression

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-04-02T04:57:27+00:00April 2nd, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

AnxietyAs one of the most common mental health illnesses, Mental Health America states that more than 8% of American adults (more than 21 million) are affected by major depression and an alarming 15% of youth aged 12-17. The number of people who struggle with some sort of depressive disorder is likely far higher, and it is said that only about a third of people who suffer seek help for depression. Depression and Christianity have in some circles earned a bad name for how depression has been treated – as something that can be simply “prayed away” or a sinful response that fails to focus on the joy of the Lord that has been given to believers. These are unhelpful approaches to supporting someone who is struggling, and unlikely to bring the help for depression that is so needed. Indeed, the treatment for depression is in no way one-dimensional; just as it can’t necessarily be “prayed away”, it is also unlikely to disappear just by “taking a pill.” For Christians battling depression, it is important to arm yourself with strategies that include both a spiritual, medical, and psychological component. Seeking Help for Depression Help for depression is likely to come from a combination of these aspects, and a biblically trained counselor will be able to walk the journey with you as you seek healing. Here are some of the strategies, with some less conventional approaches to fighting well: Visit your healthcare professional as a first point of call If you have experienced symptoms that don’t go away in a reasonable period, the first thing to do to get help for depression is to visit your healthcare professional. The most common symptoms of depression include feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness that occur nearly every day. They also include a [...]

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7 Ways to Love People with ADHD

7 Ways to Love People with ADHD

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-04-01T07:02:23+00:00April 1st, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

People who live with ADHD function in a slightly different way from everyone else. Much of the time, they don’t understand themselves, and many are frustrated, exhausted, and lonely from trying to fit in with society or to mask their symptoms. People with ADHD tend to be extremely sensitive to rejection, most of them fearing it will happen at any time. Just as every person receives and communicates love and affection in their unique way, those with ADHD feel loved when you do certain things for them. As neurotypical people, we might not have even considered some of these things to be particularly loving. But to those with ADHD, there are no better ways to feel loved, understood, and valued. 7 Ways To Love Individuals with ADHD Doing solo activities together Most people with ADHD, like extroverts, love doing things together. This doesn’t mean you have to focus on each other for it to count. Sometimes, doing different activities in the same room is the best way of spending quality time with someone with ADHD. For example, you might be doing housework in the same room they are playing video games in. Though they are not focused on you, they will find your presence comforting and enjoyable. When people with ADHD spend too much time alone, they are prone to overthink and spiral. Sharing space with them as you both do solo activities often helps them focus and keeps them calm. Let them share about their latest hyper-fixation If you’ve spent any amount of time around someone with ADHD, you will know that they often have a new point of interest. People with ADHD don’t become casually interested in things; they tend to burn with blazing passion about stuff. Whatever their focus’s current object, they have probably spent hours [...]

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How to Deal With a Bad Friendship

How to Deal With a Bad Friendship

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T10:30:01+00:00March 21st, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Friendship is one of many good gifts that God gives us. In the wisdom literature of the Bible, there are several sayings relating to friendship such as, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24, NIV). We see many examples of friendship throughout the Bible and in history; some of these are great, like David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel of the Old Testament, or the friendship the Inklings had. This was a group of friends in the 1930s and 1940s which included authors J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Owen Barfield, Charles Williams, Warren Lewis, and others. A good friendship can steer you in the right direction, while a poor one can amplify the worst parts of your character. Having the wisdom to discern between a good and a bad friendship, as well as a good from a bad friend, is invaluable and can save you a lot of heartache. What does a bad friendship look like? One of the Christian writers in modern history who has written extensively on friendship is C.S. Lewis. Friendship permeates just about all of Lewis’ writing, but in a book called The Four Loves, Lewis writes at length about friendship due in part to being connected to a close-knit group of like-minded men who shared his passion for communicating truth. One of the marks of a bad friendship is that it’s fragmented with jealousy. This jealousy can take the form of unhealthy competition between friends, such as when friends begrudge and are bitter about each other’s successes instead of jubilant. The other form of jealousy that can take place and that makes for a bad friendship is when someone is unwilling to share their friend with others. Lewis wrote the [...]

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Parenting Principles and Practices for Developing Core Values in Kids

Parenting Principles and Practices for Developing Core Values in Kids

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-03-13T04:46:45+00:00March 10th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Long before our children came into the world, we developed ideas about our lives. For many of us, that included what our families would be like, whether it was the number of children or assertions about what we would or would not do in parenting. Subconsciously, we formed scripts borne out of the best and worst of our own childhoods. While life may not have mirrored our specific expectations, vision plays a significant role in shaping our core values. What we identify and prioritize will be reflected in our parenting and our children. Our negative experiences can have an impact on families, but when redeemed and framed in the positive, they can be used for good. God created us with imagination. He uses it as a canvas to communicate what is possible. When we dream with God, our delight in the Lord causes our hearts to be filled and overflowing with His desires (Psalm 37:4). As His Word guides, He reveals ideas for a godly legacy. Regardless of our pasts, God’s Heart showcases His plans for the family of humanity. Our Vision and Values While we may have a vision for our children and family, the enemy does too. Our fallen world presents its own set of barriers that oppose our objectives and the values that anchor and stabilize us. Our fight is not against other people, but against a defeated foe (2 Corinthians 10:4). We take courage with the arsenal of spiritual weapons and armor at our disposal (Ephesians 6:10-18). We take comfort in being reinforced by the Spirit of Christ to firmly establish His kingdom of righteousness, peace, and joy, even in our family. Whether we give birth or adopt, we have a divine privilege to partner with God in our parenting. When God gives us the [...]

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Tips for Getting Rid of Bitterness in Relationships

Tips for Getting Rid of Bitterness in Relationships

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-02-21T06:58:01+00:00February 21st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There are some hilarious content creators out there on social media. Humor is deeply subjective, but it can be endlessly fascinating to see TikToks or YouTube clips about babies tasting something like a lemon for the first time. Many find themselves puckering their lips as the first sensations of sourness tantalize their tastebuds, faces screwed up into all manner of expressions. Less hilarious, but no less powerful, is how a person reacts when certain people in their lives are mentioned or enter a room. Adults are more adept at hiding their discomfort, but there are always telltale signs that something sour, akin to a lemon, has been introduced into the mix. It might be crossed arms, or visible signs of disgust on a person’s face that alert you to what they’re feeling. Things don’t always go swimmingly in our relationships. When they don’t, one of the results is bitterness developing between people. This makes the relationship difficult to enjoy and can eventually lead to the relationship ending. The Roots of Bitterness in Relationships Feelings of resentment, anger, and bitterness can creep into any relationship. While interacting with one another, people may say and do things that elicit these feelings. That much is mostly inevitable, but what matters is what you both proceed to do after that. It’s helpful to know the sorts of behaviors and attitudes that tend to generate bitterness and resentment to avoid those, and it also helps to know how to resolve the situation. Bitterness is an expression of having been hurt in some way by someone. Bitterness is one of the emotions that alert you to what’s going on in your world; you typically experience it when things haven’t gone well. Some of these situations include the following: Being ignored or not heard If you [...]

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4 Ways to Help Children of Divorce Adjust to This New Life Transition

4 Ways to Help Children of Divorce Adjust to This New Life Transition

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-02-19T11:55:55+00:00February 18th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Divorce is a difficult life transition for adults, but children have an even more difficult time. Divorce can be filled with unknowns and a fear of the future. Additionally, kids must split their time between parents, and parents sometimes use the time with their children to gain an advantage over the other, making the kids choose which one to love more. This puts a lot of stress and anxiety on children because they love both their parents. We must also add that parents sometimes begin dating again, and kids must acclimate to new partners and stepparents. This transition is a lot for a child, especially with school and other activities vying for their time. Although professional help might be the best way to go when helping a child cope with divorce, some children don’t want to (or can’t) afford therapy, which makes it easier for kids to suppress their emotions and carry them with them as emotional baggage throughout their formative years. Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6, NIV 4 Ways to Help Children of Divorce Adjust Despite all the typical transitions that transpire, there are ways parents can help children cope with divorce. Here are four ways to help children of divorce come to terms with a new chapter in their lives. Give them space Some parents, out of emotional guilt, force their kids to talk about their feelings when they’re not ready. Some kids need more time to discuss their emotions than others. If they grew up in a home where they tend to be quieter and not express their feelings freely, it will be more difficult than ever for them to talk to their parents about how they’re [...]

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5 Steps to Dealing With a Lying Teen

5 Steps to Dealing With a Lying Teen

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-02-15T05:02:48+00:00February 17th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Our relationship with our teenage children often gets rocky or fractured as they grow. Statistically, teens are more likely to lie or conceal the truth than any other age group, which can damage our relationship with them further. There are many reasons why our teens lie, and there are many ways we react to them, some of which will drive a distance between us and them. It takes patience and self-reflection to deal with a lying teen, but practicing some simple disciplines could be enough to mend a broken relationship with them. Why Teens Lie While we should never try to generalize teenagers, some characteristics are true of many teens that can help us understand them. Firstly, most teenagers are concerned with peer approval. It is a time in their lives when they are trying to establish their identity, almost like building a house brick by brick. Gaining the recognition and respect of people in their sphere of influence means finding a foundation for their identity, and establishing themselves in the teenage pecking order. On the other hand, teens who find themselves on the fringe of their society without community or connection are as shaped by this experience as the popular teens. Secondly, most teens are focused on establishing their independence and autonomy, which will be an important part of their adult lives. During the teen years, they might begin struggling with the tension of being part of a family unit with its own established value system and determining their own set of morals and values. Many teens will pull away when they realize that they don’t agree with the way things are done in their family. This is not necessarily a judgment or indictment of our parenting but is a common event in a teen’s life. They are [...]

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10 Bible Verses to Help You Remember Who You Are in God’s Eyes

10 Bible Verses to Help You Remember Who You Are in God’s Eyes

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-01-11T06:11:34+00:00January 15th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

It is human nature to be easily enticed or confused by the materialistic and fake society we live in. Unless you remember who you are in the sight of the Lord, you may live your life as a mere shadow of your true self. As the world gets increasingly fast-paced, the lines between what is real and what is false, or who is genuine and who is a pretender, have become blurred. It is easy to lose your identity in a world that is getting further away from the original description of the life God had intended for us from the time of creation. The only way to hold on to your original purpose on earth and remember who you are is to align your everyday life with biblical truth. Thankfully, you have the gift of Scripture, which paints a wonderful picture of how and why God created us and reminds His people of who they are in Him. Who do you think you are? Which answers do you give first when people ask who you are? If you’re being honest, your answers are probably one or all of the following: Your birth name. Your gender. Your marital status. Your profession. Your interests. Your family. Technically and lawfully, this is all correct. These are the characteristics that help society distinguish one person from another. This perfectly curated checklist is who you are in the eyes of the government and all those around you. However, is your legal checklist the sum of who you really are? Consider the fact that any one of those items listed up there can now be legally altered, renounced, or changed. For example, there are plenty of people who have lived half their lives using one name, then change it for one reason or another, [...]

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How to Avoid Work Burnout

How to Avoid Work Burnout

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-01-10T05:58:45+00:00January 10th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

Love it or hate it, work is one of those things that needs doing. Most of us spend a significant portion of our lives working and we do so to earn a living, which allows us to take care of our responsibilities and gives us room to enjoy things like vacations. Work can be enjoyable, but it is also often quite stressful. One of the major sources of stress in people’s lives is their work, and that stress can cause considerable damage to one’s health. One of the challenges that comes with work is the possibility of work burnout. Being able to identify when you’re on the way to burnout, and how to recover from it can help you immensely. What is work burnout? Work burnout, also known as job burnout, is a form of stress related to one’s work. When a person is burned out, they are worn out physically, mentally, and emotionally, as a response to constant stress. Some people may feel as though they are powerless and empty, or they may feel useless. The term ‘burnout’ is relatively new, coined around 1974. However, the experience described by that term is quite common, and is marked by a loss of pleasure in one’s work, a lack of motivation to get work done, and the sense of inability to do that work and complete assigned tasks. A person who is burned out or on the road to it may find themselves struggling with simple tasks or having uncharacteristically angry or irritable responses to loved ones. Some of the signs that you may have burnout or are on the way to burnout include not being able to get a good night’s rest, feeling disconnected from your work, every day feeling like a bad day, having trouble telling the days [...]

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Creating Space in Relationships: Relationship Advice for Men

Creating Space in Relationships: Relationship Advice for Men

Kate Motaung2024-12-23T09:19:38+00:00December 23rd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

If you’re familiar with plants, you’ll know that plants need light, water, good soil, and room to grow. Of course, the amount of each they require will differ, and that’s where having a green thumb comes in. Some people, whether by instinct or experience, can give a plant exactly what it needs to flourish, or take away the things that are stunting the plant’s growth. This skill can seem uncanny for the rest of us who struggle to grow plants. When it comes to relationships, there can be a similar divide between those in the know, and the uninitiated. Some people seem to breeze through relationships. They know how to make friends easily, are amazing at giving gifts and meeting their friends’ needs, and can address conflict and resolve issues smoothly. Many hold them in high regard. It can feel like you either have it, or you don’t. As with most things, however, skills can be taught and learned. Yes, some people can grasp the lessons faster than others, but you can make decent headway with consistent application. One skill to learn in relationships is how to create space for others. Creating Space in Relationships for Others – What Is That? Creating space for others can mean several things. For one thing, it can mean creating emotional space for someone. If a person is going through things such as loss or a difficult situation, you can create emotional space for them by allowing them to process their thoughts and feelings without judging or interrupting them. You carve out time for them to express themselves. Giving someone emotional space also means taking on certain postures or attitudes as they share whatever is on their hearts. Men are often accused of wanting to rush toward fixing things. That may or may [...]

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Kate Motaung

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