Kate Motaung, Author at Allen Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Daily Coping Mechanisms for Stress You Can Start Right Now

Daily Coping Mechanisms for Stress You Can Start Right Now

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-06-18T06:08:39+00:00June 18th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Overwhelming stress can make you physically, mentally, and emotionally ill. Stress is the body’s natural response to danger. What we perceive as dangerous differs from what our ancestors experienced thousands of years ago. However, our brains still react by releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to help us through perceived danger. Chronic stress causes inflammation, high blood pressure, rapid heart rate, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep issues, digestive problems, appetite changes, and weight gain or loss. Learning coping mechanisms for stress can help you manage these symptoms and ease their effects. Coping Mechanisms for Stress You Can Start Now Looking for quick stress relief? Coping mechanisms for stress should be easy to remember and activities you can do right away. When you feel overwhelmed, take a few minutes to stop and breathe. Take notice of your thoughts and identify any worries or fears that have triggered cortisol release. Next, incorporate one of the following coping mechanisms for stress into your day. Making these coping mechanisms part of your daily routine is best. This way, you manage stress from the start of your day until bedtime. For example, make it a practice to exercise first thing in the morning for twenty minutes, listen to a soothing playlist at lunchtime, read or listen to an audiobook on the commute home, and follow up with a warm bath and a funny show before bed. Adopt a routine that works best for you. Take a deep breath Pause and take a deep breath in. Exhale slowly and deliberately. Deep breathing calms the nervous system and lowers the heart rate. You can practice by inhaling through your nose for the count of four, holding your breath for four counts, and then releasing it through the mouth for another count of four. Try variations of counts [...]

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A Grief Denied: Addressing Disenfranchised Grief

A Grief Denied: Addressing Disenfranchised Grief

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-06-11T06:23:08+00:00June 11th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

When his wife Joy died in 1960, C.S. Lewis wrote a meditative reflection on his grief. He explored, quite candidly, his doubts, anger, and bewilderment at losing his wife to cancer only three years after they married. When the collection of reflections was first published, Lewis did so under a pseudonym, N.W. Clerk, perhaps because of how deeply personal the work was, and the way he was wrestling with his faith in God. Grief is in many ways a deeply personal thing; it’s your relationship with the loved one you’re mourning, and the connection you had with them is something only you understand fully. The title of Lewis’s book is A Grief Observed; it speaks of Lewis’s journey as he remembered his wife and tried to understand the meaning of her loss. But his experiences don’t necessarily stand as a representation of what all grief looks like. While grief is already hard because it is isolating, when that loss isn’t recognized for one reason or another, it becomes even more challenging, and your mourning is dismissed. When grief is denied, it can have many negative consequences for the individual. However, it’s possible to still grieve and work through loss even when it’s not recognized by others. Examples of Disenfranchised Grief Disenfranchised grief is grief that isn’t approved of or recognized by your family, community, or society. We, meaning our culture and communities, assign value to things. Our belief systems, cognitive frameworks, and worldviews shape our values and taboos. They shape what is considered important, as well as what is considered desirable and worthy of pursuit. This applies to what ‘counts’ as a loss. Disenfranchised grief occurs when you feel you’ve experienced a loss, but the people around you don’t consider it a true loss, worthy of grief. As a [...]

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How Biblical PTSD Counseling Helps

How Biblical PTSD Counseling Helps

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-05-28T09:28:21+00:00May 28th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the diagnosis used in the mental health field to describe someone who shows symptoms or behaviors for a month or longer, after having experienced or witnessed a potentially traumatic event or series of potentially traumatic events. In PTSD counseling, a traumatic event is defined as one that threatens death, serious injury, or sexual violation.Symptoms are grouped around four different categories: intrusion symptoms, avoidance symptoms, negative changes in mood or cognitive behavior, and alterations in arousal activity (changes in emotional and physiological responses that often occur after experiencing trauma).While these labels are to some benefit, biblical PTSD counseling is helpful in taking away some of the “medical jargon” around what is essentially a “being human” issue, and one that people have struggled with since time began.Ways That Biblical PTSD Counseling Could HelpHere are some ways in which biblical PTSD counseling provides a more comprehensive solution over secular psychology:Biblical PTSD counseling removes the “disorder” labelIt can be devastating for a person seeking out PTSD counseling to receive a diagnosis that makes them feel as though there is no cure. They might feel hopeless and helpless, with the term “disorder” sending a message that they are weak or irrevocably damaged. A trained counselor using biblical insight will assert from the beginning that post-traumatic stress is a normal and common reaction to an extreme situation.It is comforting to hear that far from being disproportionate to what has been experienced, it is in line with a human response to things that are not part of God’s good creation. They are things that are the result of and occurring in a broken world; they will not be present in heaven one day, where “death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have [...]

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Overeating Disorder

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Overeating Disorder

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-05-26T12:58:36+00:00May 26th, 2025|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Do you struggle with an overeating disorder? This eating-disordered behavior causes you to eat larger portion sizes than appropriate. You may return to the kitchen for a second, third, and fourth helping. You may serve yourself three to four times a serving. Overeating disorder can lead to physical and mental issues. People who overeat consistently struggle with being overweight or obese, fatigued, have digestive problems, disruptions in the hunger and fullness cues, experience brain fog, increase their risk for disease, and may feel anxious and depressed. Low self-esteem and weight gain often follow consistent overeating. But more therapists are turning to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) as a treatment for overeating disorder. CBT Strategies For Overeating Disorders CBT effectively treats several mental disorders, including Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), anxiety disorders, and anger disorders. The foundation of CBT is the link between thoughts, emotions, and actions. When you identify negative thoughts, you can reframe the narrative and change the resulting feelings and behaviors. The compulsive behaviors of overeating disorders (and all eating disorders) follow thoughts. CBT teaches you how to retrain your brain to think differently. The following list includes CBT strategies and other tips for overcoming overeating disorders. However, if you believe you need more help than the CBT strategies listed below, reach out for assistance from a mental health professional. Overcoming an eating disorder takes time and effort and does not happen overnight as you change your thinking and behaviors. Working under the guidance of a therapist will provide the support you need. Identify negative thoughts Have you ever stopped to analyze your thoughts? Before, during, and after an overeating experience, are you aware of the thoughts bombarding you? You might have a few of the following: I know I don’t need [...]

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Anger in the Bible: Mastering a Challenging Emotion

Anger in the Bible: Mastering a Challenging Emotion

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-05-16T07:06:07+00:00May 16th, 2025|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anger is an emotion that occurs in just about every situation you can think of. Whether you’re at the grocery store, sitting at a restaurant to have dinner with your date, visiting a sick loved one in the hospital, at the school drop-off zone, or at the park walking your dog, anger isn’t far away. It can sometimes seem as though it is a living thing waiting to escape from its cage if we’re not vigilant. Our life experiences can leave us feeling like anger is inherently dangerous. It can indeed be destructive – to our health, our relationships, and our overall well-being. Perhaps this gut reaction stems from our past brushes with anger, our own and that of others. Anger isn’t typically associated with good times, and often it’s expressed as aggression, and the emotion can end up getting conflated with this particular unhealthy expression of it. We need to nurture a healthier relationship with our anger. It is an emotion the Lord gave us for a reason, but we must handle it wisely as part of our discipleship. Just as we’re bringing everything under the Lordship of Christ, our anger can also be submitted into His hands so that we honor Him with it. Understanding Our Anger Have you ever paused and asked yourself what makes you angry? For most of us, we’re often caught playing catchup with our anger in the aftermath of an ugly interaction with a loved one, colleague, or total stranger. Because it feels unpleasant, we don’t always sit with it and try to understand ourselves and this emotion that’s inside us. What then happens is that next time, we are caught unawares yet again and feel surprised at how we overreacted. Anger is an emotional response that’s often triggered by perceived injustices [...]

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Hear Me Out: Effective Listening and Communication in a World That Is Always Talking

Hear Me Out: Effective Listening and Communication in a World That Is Always Talking

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-05-01T06:41:16+00:00May 1st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

We all want to be seen, known, and loved. It is an innate desire that God designed. Since the beginning, humankind has been seeking acceptance and affirmation through effective listening and other techniques. Our Father provided it in the garden, but everything changed when Adam and Eve responded to the serpent’s invitation to eat from a forbidden tree. The enemy spun the narrative that God was withholding goodness from them, despite Him furnishing a paradise for them to enjoy His presence and one another. That was the day communication unraveled. They listened to the enemy accuse God and twist His words. When Adam and Eve accepted the devil’s lies, it bankrupted them of their abundance. Instead of returning to the Father to clarify instructions, they covered themselves and hid. When He located them, God confronted the lie they believed. Instead of acknowledging their sin and error, they blamed one another and shifted responsibility. The Challenge of Effective Listening and Communication Throughout the ages, this breach of communication has had endless consequences. Primarily, it disrupted Adam and Eve’s intimate fellowship with their Creator. It distorted their communication with one another. Finally, deception and sin exacted a toll that only the Son of God would one day redeem. As a result, many generations later, we experience similar challenges. The same communication strategies that isolate, blame, cover, and hide us from God, ourselves, and others still surface in our interactions with one another today. We struggle to hear what is being said or to offer effective listening. The intent and impact of sin is to drive a wedge between humankind and our Creator. This division also shows up in our relationships with others made in God’s image. It manifests in our listening, speaking, and body language, diluting our ability to connect. From [...]

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8 Common Habits of Anxious People

8 Common Habits of Anxious People

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-04-30T05:51:32+00:00April 30th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anxiety is something we all have to deal with occasionally, but for some, it is a constant experience. Anxiety can be complex, irrational, and sometimes undetectable. However, the people who must deal with anxiety daily will feel the effects of it, whether they know where it comes from or not. Highly anxious people tend to develop similar habits over time. These might serve as indicators or red flags for the presence of anxiety in their lives. Common Habits of Anxious People They get comfort and security from constantly rewatching TV shows Highly anxious people are constantly in fight-or-flight mode and find it difficult to relax and switch off their thoughts. Some people’s coping methods can be damaging in the long-term, such as using copious medication or substances to relax. However, some people with high anxiety use visual media to unwind, and it is usually a movie series or TV show that they have watched before. Studies show that when we watch TV, our brains are less active than when we are asleep. When it is media that we have watched before or a series with a low-stakes plotline, it demands even less from us and makes for a comforting, familiar experience. Some people find comfort in having “background noise,” Even if they are not paying attention to what is happening on the screen, they’d far rather have it playing than not. They suffer from insomnia because of overthinking late at night One of the most frustrating aspects of dealing with anxiety is that the brain doesn’t seem to switch off, even when the body is exhausted. It can often feel that your brain is somehow even sharper late at night when you should be winding down for bed. Some people come to dread the stillness and quiet of late [...]

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Bible Verses About Worry: How to Handle It God’s Way

Bible Verses About Worry: How to Handle It God’s Way

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-04-17T05:47:30+00:00April 16th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Bible verses about worry? You’ve come to the right place. Of the many human experiences we have in common, worry is probably one of the more common. Even those individuals who tend to be unshakeable in a crisis find themselves, in certain circumstances, pondering what is to come, what might happen next, and the best strategy to face this possible future. Worry seems to be a common human struggle that takes up a lot of head space and can make life harder than it has to be. Our lives today are quite fast-paced, and there are a lot of moving parts that make up the whole. We are bombarded by news, viral social media stories and clips, and more every hour of every day. These often tell us how things could go wrong at any moment, whether it’s our health, relationships, finances, or the future of our planet. But no matter what the topic, the predominant theme is to be worried or concerned. Christian Counseling Allen understands these challenges and offers support for those seeking clarity and peace amidst the chaos. It’s no wonder we are anxious about ourselves, our lives, and what coming next. Challenges are real, but maybe there’s a different way to deal with them. The Bible offers us a different way, one gives us both comfort and practical wisdom along the way. Why Worry Isn’t Good for You When things seem like they are larger than life, immediate, and possibly life-altering, one of the strategies we can employ is to worry about them. Maybe it gives us a sense of control or mastery over the situation but worry seems to be how we naturally respond to anything that is uncertain or may pose a threat to us and our well-being. Worry isn’t necessarily all [...]

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Strategies to Seek Help for Depression

Strategies to Seek Help for Depression

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-04-16T18:21:41+00:00April 2nd, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Anxiety As one of the most common mental health illnesses, Mental Health America states that more than 8% of American adults (more than 21 million) are affected by major depression and an alarming 15% of youth aged 12-17. The number of people who struggle with some sort of depressive disorder is likely far higher, and it is said that only about a third of people who suffer seek help for depression. Depression and Christianity have in some circles earned a bad name for how depression has been treated – as something that can be simply “prayed away” or a sinful response that fails to focus on the joy of the Lord that has been given to believers. These are unhelpful approaches to supporting someone who is struggling, and unlikely to bring the help for depression that is so needed. Indeed, the treatment for depression is in no way one-dimensional; just as it can’t necessarily be “prayed away”, it is also unlikely to disappear just by “taking a pill.” For Christians battling depression, it is important to arm yourself with strategies that include both a spiritual, medical, and psychological component. Seeking Help for Depression Help for depression is likely to come from a combination of these aspects, and a biblically trained counselor will be able to walk the journey with you as you seek healing. Here are some of the strategies, with some less conventional approaches to fighting well: Visit your healthcare professional as a first point of call If you have experienced symptoms that don’t go away in a reasonable period, the first thing to do to get help for depression is to visit your healthcare professional. The most common symptoms of depression include feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness that occur nearly every day. They also include [...]

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7 Ways to Love People with ADHD

7 Ways to Love People with ADHD

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-04-16T18:28:25+00:00April 1st, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

People who live with ADHD function in a slightly different way from everyone else. Much of the time, they don’t understand themselves, and many are frustrated, exhausted, and lonely from trying to fit in with society or to mask their symptoms. People with ADHD tend to be extremely sensitive to rejection, most of them fearing it will happen at any time. Just as every person receives and communicates love and affection in their unique way, those with ADHD feel loved when you do certain things for them. As neurotypical people, we might not have even considered some of these things to be particularly loving. But to those with ADHD, there are no better ways to feel loved, understood, and valued. For those navigating these dynamics in relationships, Christian Counseling Allen can offer guidance and support tailored to both individuals and couples. 7 Ways To Love Individuals with ADHD Doing solo activities together Most people with ADHD, like extroverts, love doing things together. This doesn’t mean you have to focus on each other for it to count. Sometimes, doing different activities in the same room is the best way of spending quality time with someone with ADHD. For example, you might be doing housework in the same room they are playing video games in. Though they are not focused on you, they will find your presence comforting and enjoyable. When people with ADHD spend too much time alone, they are prone to overthink and spiral. Sharing space with them as you both do solo activities often helps them focus and keeps them calm. Let them share about their latest hyper-fixation If you’ve spent any amount of time around someone with ADHD, you will know that they often have a new point of interest. People with ADHD don’t become casually interested [...]

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Kate Motaung

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