Facing Anticipatory Grief
The things that make our lives worth living are the very things that make it hard to carry on when we lose them. Our friendships, our loves, the routines, habits, and people that populate our world and give it shape; these things bring light and joy into our world. When we lose them, it can feel like we’ve lost pieces of ourselves, and we find ourselves reaching out in the dark for meaning and a way back to who we were and what life once was. Grief is a reality that we all must face at some point in our lives. When we grieve, we allow ourselves to feel the fullness of the loss we’ve experienced, and by slow measures, we begin to come to terms with it. Grief, however, can be complicated and messy. It doesn’t follow any strict patterns, and one of the challenges it presents is that it doesn’t always happen after the loss has occurred. Naming Anticipatory Grief More often than not, the word ‘anticipate’ is associated with good things. You anticipate a vacation or time spent with loved ones. You anticipate your weekly or monthly cheat day to give you a break from your typical eating habits. You anticipate a wedding or some other special occasion. However, at its root, anticipation is simply about having an eye toward what is to come. Usually, it’s positive, but what’s coming down the pike might also be negative. Anticipatory grief is grief that’s related to the expected loss of a loved one. Just as we would typically call ‘grief’ the psychological and emotional process of coping with the loss of a loved one, anticipatory grief is the same kind of process, except it sets in before the loss actually occurs. There is an inevitable separation or loss [...]









