Kate Motaung, Author at Allen Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Anger in the Bible: Mastering a Challenging Emotion

Anger in the Bible: Mastering a Challenging Emotion

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-05-16T07:06:07+00:00May 16th, 2025|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anger is an emotion that occurs in just about every situation you can think of. Whether you’re at the grocery store, sitting at a restaurant to have dinner with your date, visiting a sick loved one in the hospital, at the school drop-off zone, or at the park walking your dog, anger isn’t far away. It can sometimes seem as though it is a living thing waiting to escape from its cage if we’re not vigilant. Our life experiences can leave us feeling like anger is inherently dangerous. It can indeed be destructive – to our health, our relationships, and our overall well-being. Perhaps this gut reaction stems from our past brushes with anger, our own and that of others. Anger isn’t typically associated with good times, and often it’s expressed as aggression, and the emotion can end up getting conflated with this particular unhealthy expression of it. We need to nurture a healthier relationship with our anger. It is an emotion the Lord gave us for a reason, but we must handle it wisely as part of our discipleship. Just as we’re bringing everything under the Lordship of Christ, our anger can also be submitted into His hands so that we honor Him with it. Understanding Our Anger Have you ever paused and asked yourself what makes you angry? For most of us, we’re often caught playing catchup with our anger in the aftermath of an ugly interaction with a loved one, colleague, or total stranger. Because it feels unpleasant, we don’t always sit with it and try to understand ourselves and this emotion that’s inside us. What then happens is that next time, we are caught unawares yet again and feel surprised at how we overreacted. Anger is an emotional response that’s often triggered by perceived injustices [...]

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Hear Me Out: Effective Listening and Communication in a World That Is Always Talking

Hear Me Out: Effective Listening and Communication in a World That Is Always Talking

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-05-01T06:41:16+00:00May 1st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

We all want to be seen, known, and loved. It is an innate desire that God designed. Since the beginning, humankind has been seeking acceptance and affirmation through effective listening and other techniques. Our Father provided it in the garden, but everything changed when Adam and Eve responded to the serpent’s invitation to eat from a forbidden tree. The enemy spun the narrative that God was withholding goodness from them, despite Him furnishing a paradise for them to enjoy His presence and one another. That was the day communication unraveled. They listened to the enemy accuse God and twist His words. When Adam and Eve accepted the devil’s lies, it bankrupted them of their abundance. Instead of returning to the Father to clarify instructions, they covered themselves and hid. When He located them, God confronted the lie they believed. Instead of acknowledging their sin and error, they blamed one another and shifted responsibility. The Challenge of Effective Listening and Communication Throughout the ages, this breach of communication has had endless consequences. Primarily, it disrupted Adam and Eve’s intimate fellowship with their Creator. It distorted their communication with one another. Finally, deception and sin exacted a toll that only the Son of God would one day redeem. As a result, many generations later, we experience similar challenges. The same communication strategies that isolate, blame, cover, and hide us from God, ourselves, and others still surface in our interactions with one another today. We struggle to hear what is being said or to offer effective listening. The intent and impact of sin is to drive a wedge between humankind and our Creator. This division also shows up in our relationships with others made in God’s image. It manifests in our listening, speaking, and body language, diluting our ability to connect. From [...]

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8 Common Habits of Anxious People

8 Common Habits of Anxious People

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-04-30T05:51:32+00:00April 30th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anxiety is something we all have to deal with occasionally, but for some, it is a constant experience. Anxiety can be complex, irrational, and sometimes undetectable. However, the people who must deal with anxiety daily will feel the effects of it, whether they know where it comes from or not. Highly anxious people tend to develop similar habits over time. These might serve as indicators or red flags for the presence of anxiety in their lives. Common Habits of Anxious People They get comfort and security from constantly rewatching TV shows Highly anxious people are constantly in fight-or-flight mode and find it difficult to relax and switch off their thoughts. Some people’s coping methods can be damaging in the long-term, such as using copious medication or substances to relax. However, some people with high anxiety use visual media to unwind, and it is usually a movie series or TV show that they have watched before. Studies show that when we watch TV, our brains are less active than when we are asleep. When it is media that we have watched before or a series with a low-stakes plotline, it demands even less from us and makes for a comforting, familiar experience. Some people find comfort in having “background noise,” Even if they are not paying attention to what is happening on the screen, they’d far rather have it playing than not. They suffer from insomnia because of overthinking late at night One of the most frustrating aspects of dealing with anxiety is that the brain doesn’t seem to switch off, even when the body is exhausted. It can often feel that your brain is somehow even sharper late at night when you should be winding down for bed. Some people come to dread the stillness and quiet of late [...]

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Bible Verses About Worry: How to Handle It God’s Way

Bible Verses About Worry: How to Handle It God’s Way

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-04-17T05:47:30+00:00April 16th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Bible verses about worry? You’ve come to the right place. Of the many human experiences we have in common, worry is probably one of the more common. Even those individuals who tend to be unshakeable in a crisis find themselves, in certain circumstances, pondering what is to come, what might happen next, and the best strategy to face this possible future. Worry seems to be a common human struggle that takes up a lot of head space and can make life harder than it has to be. Our lives today are quite fast-paced, and there are a lot of moving parts that make up the whole. We are bombarded by news, viral social media stories and clips, and more every hour of every day. These often tell us how things could go wrong at any moment, whether it’s our health, relationships, finances, or the future of our planet. But no matter what the topic, the predominant theme is to be worried or concerned. Christian Counseling Allen understands these challenges and offers support for those seeking clarity and peace amidst the chaos. It’s no wonder we are anxious about ourselves, our lives, and what coming next. Challenges are real, but maybe there’s a different way to deal with them. The Bible offers us a different way, one gives us both comfort and practical wisdom along the way. Why Worry Isn’t Good for You When things seem like they are larger than life, immediate, and possibly life-altering, one of the strategies we can employ is to worry about them. Maybe it gives us a sense of control or mastery over the situation but worry seems to be how we naturally respond to anything that is uncertain or may pose a threat to us and our well-being. Worry isn’t necessarily all [...]

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Strategies to Seek Help for Depression

Strategies to Seek Help for Depression

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-04-16T18:21:41+00:00April 2nd, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Anxiety As one of the most common mental health illnesses, Mental Health America states that more than 8% of American adults (more than 21 million) are affected by major depression and an alarming 15% of youth aged 12-17. The number of people who struggle with some sort of depressive disorder is likely far higher, and it is said that only about a third of people who suffer seek help for depression. Depression and Christianity have in some circles earned a bad name for how depression has been treated – as something that can be simply “prayed away” or a sinful response that fails to focus on the joy of the Lord that has been given to believers. These are unhelpful approaches to supporting someone who is struggling, and unlikely to bring the help for depression that is so needed. Indeed, the treatment for depression is in no way one-dimensional; just as it can’t necessarily be “prayed away”, it is also unlikely to disappear just by “taking a pill.” For Christians battling depression, it is important to arm yourself with strategies that include both a spiritual, medical, and psychological component. Seeking Help for Depression Help for depression is likely to come from a combination of these aspects, and a biblically trained counselor will be able to walk the journey with you as you seek healing. Here are some of the strategies, with some less conventional approaches to fighting well: Visit your healthcare professional as a first point of call If you have experienced symptoms that don’t go away in a reasonable period, the first thing to do to get help for depression is to visit your healthcare professional. The most common symptoms of depression include feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness that occur nearly every day. They also include [...]

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7 Ways to Love People with ADHD

7 Ways to Love People with ADHD

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-04-16T18:28:25+00:00April 1st, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

People who live with ADHD function in a slightly different way from everyone else. Much of the time, they don’t understand themselves, and many are frustrated, exhausted, and lonely from trying to fit in with society or to mask their symptoms. People with ADHD tend to be extremely sensitive to rejection, most of them fearing it will happen at any time. Just as every person receives and communicates love and affection in their unique way, those with ADHD feel loved when you do certain things for them. As neurotypical people, we might not have even considered some of these things to be particularly loving. But to those with ADHD, there are no better ways to feel loved, understood, and valued. For those navigating these dynamics in relationships, Christian Counseling Allen can offer guidance and support tailored to both individuals and couples. 7 Ways To Love Individuals with ADHD Doing solo activities together Most people with ADHD, like extroverts, love doing things together. This doesn’t mean you have to focus on each other for it to count. Sometimes, doing different activities in the same room is the best way of spending quality time with someone with ADHD. For example, you might be doing housework in the same room they are playing video games in. Though they are not focused on you, they will find your presence comforting and enjoyable. When people with ADHD spend too much time alone, they are prone to overthink and spiral. Sharing space with them as you both do solo activities often helps them focus and keeps them calm. Let them share about their latest hyper-fixation If you’ve spent any amount of time around someone with ADHD, you will know that they often have a new point of interest. People with ADHD don’t become casually interested [...]

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How to Deal With a Bad Friendship

How to Deal With a Bad Friendship

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T10:30:01+00:00March 21st, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Friendship is one of many good gifts that God gives us. In the wisdom literature of the Bible, there are several sayings relating to friendship such as, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24, NIV). We see many examples of friendship throughout the Bible and in history; some of these are great, like David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel of the Old Testament, or the friendship the Inklings had. This was a group of friends in the 1930s and 1940s which included authors J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Owen Barfield, Charles Williams, Warren Lewis, and others. A good friendship can steer you in the right direction, while a poor one can amplify the worst parts of your character. Having the wisdom to discern between a good and a bad friendship, as well as a good from a bad friend, is invaluable and can save you a lot of heartache. What does a bad friendship look like? One of the Christian writers in modern history who has written extensively on friendship is C.S. Lewis. Friendship permeates just about all of Lewis’ writing, but in a book called The Four Loves, Lewis writes at length about friendship due in part to being connected to a close-knit group of like-minded men who shared his passion for communicating truth. One of the marks of a bad friendship is that it’s fragmented with jealousy. This jealousy can take the form of unhealthy competition between friends, such as when friends begrudge and are bitter about each other’s successes instead of jubilant. The other form of jealousy that can take place and that makes for a bad friendship is when someone is unwilling to share their friend with others. Lewis wrote the [...]

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Parenting Principles and Practices for Developing Core Values in Kids

Parenting Principles and Practices for Developing Core Values in Kids

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-03-13T04:46:45+00:00March 10th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Long before our children came into the world, we developed ideas about our lives. For many of us, that included what our families would be like, whether it was the number of children or assertions about what we would or would not do in parenting. Subconsciously, we formed scripts borne out of the best and worst of our own childhoods. While life may not have mirrored our specific expectations, vision plays a significant role in shaping our core values. What we identify and prioritize will be reflected in our parenting and our children. Our negative experiences can have an impact on families, but when redeemed and framed in the positive, they can be used for good. God created us with imagination. He uses it as a canvas to communicate what is possible. When we dream with God, our delight in the Lord causes our hearts to be filled and overflowing with His desires (Psalm 37:4). As His Word guides, He reveals ideas for a godly legacy. Regardless of our pasts, God’s Heart showcases His plans for the family of humanity. Our Vision and Values While we may have a vision for our children and family, the enemy does too. Our fallen world presents its own set of barriers that oppose our objectives and the values that anchor and stabilize us. Our fight is not against other people, but against a defeated foe (2 Corinthians 10:4). We take courage with the arsenal of spiritual weapons and armor at our disposal (Ephesians 6:10-18). We take comfort in being reinforced by the Spirit of Christ to firmly establish His kingdom of righteousness, peace, and joy, even in our family. Whether we give birth or adopt, we have a divine privilege to partner with God in our parenting. When God gives us the [...]

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Tips for Getting Rid of Bitterness in Relationships

Tips for Getting Rid of Bitterness in Relationships

Jessica Gallant, Kate Motaung2025-02-21T06:58:01+00:00February 21st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There are some hilarious content creators out there on social media. Humor is deeply subjective, but it can be endlessly fascinating to see TikToks or YouTube clips about babies tasting something like a lemon for the first time. Many find themselves puckering their lips as the first sensations of sourness tantalize their tastebuds, faces screwed up into all manner of expressions. Less hilarious, but no less powerful, is how a person reacts when certain people in their lives are mentioned or enter a room. Adults are more adept at hiding their discomfort, but there are always telltale signs that something sour, akin to a lemon, has been introduced into the mix. It might be crossed arms, or visible signs of disgust on a person’s face that alert you to what they’re feeling. Things don’t always go swimmingly in our relationships. When they don’t, one of the results is bitterness developing between people. This makes the relationship difficult to enjoy and can eventually lead to the relationship ending. The Roots of Bitterness in Relationships Feelings of resentment, anger, and bitterness can creep into any relationship. While interacting with one another, people may say and do things that elicit these feelings. That much is mostly inevitable, but what matters is what you both proceed to do after that. It’s helpful to know the sorts of behaviors and attitudes that tend to generate bitterness and resentment to avoid those, and it also helps to know how to resolve the situation. Bitterness is an expression of having been hurt in some way by someone. Bitterness is one of the emotions that alert you to what’s going on in your world; you typically experience it when things haven’t gone well. Some of these situations include the following: Being ignored or not heard If you [...]

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4 Ways to Help Children of Divorce Adjust to This New Life Transition

4 Ways to Help Children of Divorce Adjust to This New Life Transition

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2025-02-19T11:55:55+00:00February 18th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Divorce is a difficult life transition for adults, but children have an even more difficult time. Divorce can be filled with unknowns and a fear of the future. Additionally, kids must split their time between parents, and parents sometimes use the time with their children to gain an advantage over the other, making the kids choose which one to love more. This puts a lot of stress and anxiety on children because they love both their parents. We must also add that parents sometimes begin dating again, and kids must acclimate to new partners and stepparents. This transition is a lot for a child, especially with school and other activities vying for their time. Although professional help might be the best way to go when helping a child cope with divorce, some children don’t want to (or can’t) afford therapy, which makes it easier for kids to suppress their emotions and carry them with them as emotional baggage throughout their formative years. Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. – Proverbs 22:6, NIV 4 Ways to Help Children of Divorce Adjust Despite all the typical transitions that transpire, there are ways parents can help children cope with divorce. Here are four ways to help children of divorce come to terms with a new chapter in their lives. Give them space Some parents, out of emotional guilt, force their kids to talk about their feelings when they’re not ready. Some kids need more time to discuss their emotions than others. If they grew up in a home where they tend to be quieter and not express their feelings freely, it will be more difficult than ever for them to talk to their parents about how they’re [...]

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Kate Motaung

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