Wade Van Staden

Grief changes everything. No one can prepare you for how you will feel or how you will struggle with the ordinary things that are just part of everyday life. A big part of processing grief is giving yourself the time and grace to deal with the changes. Things That Feel Harder in Grief Housework Why on earth are we cleaning and doing laundry when our world has changed forever? Grief tends to keep our thoughts fixed on questions like “How am I going to cope?” and “What happens now?” It can be so hard to carry on with the chores and tasks that were never exciting to do in the first place. You might end up feeling guilty or anxious for letting things slide, but you won’t be stuck in this mode forever. For now, some things can be left for a helpful friend or relative to do. Personal Hygiene In a similar vein, you might find that you just don’t have the energy to shower and look your best. In grief, ordinary things often feel hollow, pointless, and difficult. You would indeed feel better if you showered and wore fresh clothes, but it’s a common experience for many people to struggle in this area as they grieve. Personal Admin If you find yourself simply staring at the screen as you try to compose a reply to an email, then you are having a normal experience of grief. The messages and correspondence will pile up and go unanswered, and not everyone will realize how difficult it is for you to stay in touch. You might benefit from having a friend or loved one help you with some of the more important admin, like paying bills or canceling unnecessary subscriptions. Listening to Music .and Watching Movies Films suddenly feel too [...]

Over the years, people have tried their best to understand the grief process, even boiling it down to five common stages. Those who have grieved or are in the middle of grieving will tell you that grief is a complicated, messy, and often overwhelming mix of emotions and thoughts. Grief is a deeply personal journey for anyone to take, and it can be difficult to know if what we are thinking and feeling during grief is normal or even healthy. Grievers often think things that would sound awful to confess, but it is only when we honestly grapple with our thoughts in grief that we can begin to find release from some of the heavier emotions. Christian Counseling Allen can provide a supportive space for this healing process. The Things People Think During Complicated Grief A large part of the grief process is having to untangle our thoughts from our emotions. Behind almost every thought or statement we make is an emotion and an experience. It might not always be safe or easy to express our thoughts, but many other people have, and their honesty can help us in our grief process. Here are some thoughts that many grievers have, and the emotions behind the thoughts: “I resent that other people still have both their parents” Jealousy, bitterness, and resentment are common emotions to experience in grief. They can result in additional feelings of guilt or anger. Feeling resentful of the fact that we have lost a loved one while other people haven’t might sound illogical, cruel, or petty to express, but it is a common experience. We don’t have to express these thoughts, and they will eventually pass. A healthy way of coping with them is to first acknowledge them and then lean into the memory of our [...]