Kate Motaung, Author at Allen Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

How to Handle Insecurities in a Relationship

How to Handle Insecurities in a Relationship

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-12-21T09:45:56+00:00September 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Finding a person who qualifies to become your significant other can be a feat in and of itself. Someone once said that the world of 21st-century dating and relationships is an extreme sport. As you come to that relationship, whether through a dating app, a blind date, or a meet-up at a coffee shop, you bring everything that you are, both the good and the bad, into the relationship. The good thing about healthy and secure relationships is that we can entrust ourselves to our partners, warts and all. If we are primed to give and receive love, we can be vulnerable and open about our weaknesses. However, if you feel insecure in a relationship, you may be hesitant to divulge your weaknesses, and you aren’t able to enjoy the relationship because you’re constantly on edge. Being able to handle your own and each other’s insecurities in a relationship can help you be at peace and flourish as a couple. What are insecurities? The term insecurity can cover a broad range of thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors that indicate uncertainty and a lack of confidence. Sometimes, our insecurities are about the relationship itself, such as when we’re not sure that the person we’re with is right for us. At other times, our insecurities are more about ourselves than they are about the other person. For instance, when you’re not sure if you are the right person to be in this relationship. The motivational speaker Tony Robbins says: “Relationship insecurity means you’re unsure and unconfident about your relationship. It’s a deep belief that you just aren’t good enough for your partner, that you don’t deserve love, or one of many other limiting beliefs that cause you to feel anxious. You may doubt your value and have a low sense of [...]

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How to Effectively Overcome a Negative Body Image

How to Effectively Overcome a Negative Body Image

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:13:04+00:00August 21st, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

A few millennia ago, a wise person wrote “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV). Inside the culture from which this proverb emerged, your heart was the seat of your desires, your will, your emotions, and the source of your actions. In other words, your heart is what makes you who you are, and you need to guard what goes into and influences it because it can determine the course of your life. We are constantly bombarded with messages about who we are and what makes us valuable. Through social media, interactions with friends, movies, and music, and through magazines and legacy media, our tastes, worldviews, interests, and passions are shaped. This is to say nothing of how our family, friends, and the culture we are embedded in work the same way to shape who we are. These various influences and our life experiences can combine to help us form a healthy view of ourselves, but they can also conspire to create an unhealthy or negative view of our bodies and ourselves. Understanding body image Body image relates to the feelings, thoughts, attitudes, and experiences of your own body. We can appreciate our bodies, but we can also have a negative attitude toward them. Any number of influences from your life experience and the culture in which you’re embedded can shape your body image. In the U.S., most of our media portray the standard of beauty in a certain way. If you accept that standard, it can lead to dissatisfaction with who you are, or pressure to maintain a certain feature. A negative body image emerges when you dislike your body (or parts of it) and you have a negative attitude toward yourself and your body’s capabilities. A person’s body [...]

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How to Take Every Thought Captive: Two Aspects to Consider

How to Take Every Thought Captive: Two Aspects to Consider

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:13:18+00:00August 12th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete. – 2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV What does this mean? The Message paraphrase provides some insight: The world is unprincipled. It’s dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fairly. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way – never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity. – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, The Message According to the Message’s author, Eugene Peterson, we take every thought captive by weighing, “every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.” We encounter hundreds (if not thousands) of thoughts in a day. From the moment we wake up we are bombarded with ideas, thoughts, concerns, and choices. Even before we open our eyes the litany of thoughts in our head can be overwhelming. It can feel unmanageable, but we are not without hope. We have all seen the turnstiles used to let people onto the subway. People swipe their cards or pay the fee, and they are let in. What if someone tries to slip through without paying or whose card has expired? The turnstiles don’t work. Taking our thoughts captive is like letting each thought pass through a turnstile. If it is good, beneficial, [...]

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Graced for Growth: Tools for Spiritual and Personal Development

Graced for Growth: Tools for Spiritual and Personal Development

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:13:32+00:00June 27th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

In distinct parts of youth and childhood, we experience what many know as growing pains. Bones and bodies shift. Cells multiply, making room under the skin’s surface for what isn’t yet seen. Our adult lives mirror a similar process. Personal and spiritual development hinge on our willingness to engage in intentional goal-setting as well as the ability to respond with flexibility to inevitable life change. Life stretches us where we may be skilled, while also strengthening us in areas of weakness. Human errors color, shade, and highlight parts of our journey, revealing what needs attention and alignment with God’s ultimate purpose. Our mistakes not only make for a more intriguing life landscape but also create a wealth of life lessons for both personal and spiritual development. Missteps provide us with opportunities to learn, love, and live forward with the God who has created, chosen, and called us to life with Him. When we leave room for grace amid flaws and failures, we can encounter God’s greatness and strength even more than what we imagined possible on our own (2 Corinthians 12:9; Philippians 4:13). Self-talk For us to see and secure the vision that God has concerning our personal and spiritual development, we must rescript our self-talk to align with Jesus, the Word of God (John 1:1). The Bible articulates the Truth we need for abundant living. When we interact with God’s Word as a living force, it awakens parts of us that need to come alive to the spiritual blessings and soul benefits that the Gospel has made available (Hebrews 4:12). With the Word of God, we deconstruct the negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that our enemy craftily uses to poison thoughts, feelings, and actions. We can better demolish arguments and pretensions that set themselves up against the knowledge [...]

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7 Common Signs of Depression in Children

7 Common Signs of Depression in Children

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:13:49+00:00May 27th, 2024|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Depression, Family Counseling, Featured|

Depression is a common mental health condition in adults, yet as many as 2.7 million children were diagnosed with depression between 2016 and 2019, according to the CDC. These were the statistics before the pandemic. Since the pandemic, isolation, and lockdowns, the number of cases of depression in children may have doubled, according to a review in JAMA Pediatrics. It is usual for children, like adults, to feel down from time to time. However, depression can last for weeks or months. If your child shows symptoms and behavioral changes for two weeks, contact a medical professional for an assessment. Would you recognize the signs of depression in children? As a parent or guardian, you will do anything to protect your children. Learn the common signs of depression in children and how you can help them. Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. – Psalms 127:3, NLT Common signs of depression in children When our children hurt, we hurt. It pains us to see them behaving contrary to their true selves. Several causes of depression in children include problems at school or home, bullying, feeling overwhelmed, grief or loss, trauma, chemical imbalances, family history of depression, and social comparison. Whatever the reason, the symptoms are often the same. Eating too much or too little Rapid weight loss or gain is a sure sign that something is wrong. Have you noticed that your child is eating more than usual or skipping meals entirely? Sometimes children will use food for comfort during depression as they might feel an emptiness in their hearts, a new sensation for them. They long to fill that empty hole. Conversely, they may not feel up to eating and only pretend to eat at mealtimes. Be aware that other mental health conditions [...]

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Freedom for Your Future: Releasing Past Trauma and Finding Support for PTSD

Freedom for Your Future: Releasing Past Trauma and Finding Support for PTSD

Kate Motaung2024-10-30T09:03:45+00:00May 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Trauma, as described by the American Psychological Association (APA), is an “emotional response to a terrible event.” It can be personal in nature, such as an individual incident of assault or abuse. In other situations, trauma can be experienced on a broader scale, among a subset of people such as combat soldiers. Yet, in other circumstances, its impacts may be experienced by a larger population who encountered a natural disaster. Everyone who lived through similar circumstances may share parts of an experience, but may not process it the same way. Effects of past trauma While many don’t experience lingering effects, there are multiple others whose past trauma retains present impacts. The way that we process such horrific experiences is referred to as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While there is a combination of symptoms that can present in both sleeping and waking moments, PTSD is often characterized by reliving the “trauma in painful recollections, flashbacks, or recurrent dreams or nightmares.” (APA) PTSD can affect our cognition and memory, causing disrupted concentration, memory blockages, and blackouts. Another expression is that it can produce an exaggerated startle response or sensitivity to other stimuli that trigger or catapults individuals to the time and place where the original trauma occurred. Looking deeper at trauma This is the work of the adversary who initiated a subtle assault in a garden long ago. Satan plays on our vulnerabilities in our weakest states. He doesn’t play fair, waiting until we’ve healed our trauma wounds or had a chance to grieve and properly process our losses. He plants suggestions that we tend and cultivate. When those seeds grow viral, they explode into a tangle of vines that tether us to the past. We don’t often address intrusive thoughts to bring under subjection, but rather they subdue and seek [...]

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The Landscape of Loss: Navigating Grief and Transition

The Landscape of Loss: Navigating Grief and Transition

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:14:06+00:00May 6th, 2024|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

The experience of loss forever shifts the landscape of our lives. Without question, grief changes things. Sometimes, it changes everything, including us. It is important to embrace the reality that the life we once knew before death or loss simply won’t be the same. But what we identify as a single major change in life impacts many areas that have compound effects, in the seen and unseen, in what is felt as well as the imperceptible.Death as disruptionThe rhythms we became accustomed to, even those that may have irritated us from time to time, were predictable, familiar, and known to us. When disrupted, the change and transitions associated with adjustment can make us feel unsafe, as if our entire world is crumbling. Death is part of the life cycle, and we simply want to buffer ourselves from the sting and sharp edges of loss.Even in this, we must allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling to process what we’d rather escape. Though it may be excruciatingly painful, beauty can emerge from death’s ashes.The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners...and provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. – Isaiah 61:1,3, NIVThe evidence of Jesus’ resurrection provides the best evidence. What seems negative and forever lost in death can produce newness and life. Although Christ makes all [...]

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How and Why Help for Depression Is Needed

How and Why Help for Depression Is Needed

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:14:20+00:00April 2nd, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Did you know that about 10-15% of the population will suffer from depression during their lifetime? It is a common illness that affects an enormous number of people worldwide. Although depression is seen more often in women and elderly people, men are affected by it as well, but help for depression is available. There are several different treatments for depression and receiving help is often successful in most people who suffer from it. It can be a relief to realize this, as the symptoms of depression can have an incapacitating effect on all who suffer from it and significantly affect those who care for them. In this article, you will find more about what causes depression, and how to treat it, so that you or anyone experiencing it and their friends and family can better understand the illness. By arming yourself with knowledge, you will be able to maximize the benefits that treatment offers. Understanding depression better Depression is an illness. Like other illnesses, it can significantly impact every aspect of someone’s life. This includes their enjoyment of hobbies and fun activities, their ability to perform well at work, and their relationships. One significant feature of depression is that no two people display it in the same manner, which can make it difficult to diagnose. While a well-known feature is that one suffers from a low mood and is generally more pessimistic with a loss of interest in activities they previously thought of as fun, there are many other common symptoms. Some of these are: Weight changes. Headaches, backaches, and other physical symptoms. Reduced appetite. Feeling irritable. Feeling guilty and helpless. Feeling anxious. Finding it difficult to get up in the morning. Always feeling tired or lacking energy. Trouble with sleeping, this can be falling asleep when going to [...]

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8 Simple Ways to Feel Better

8 Simple Ways to Feel Better

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:15:09+00:00March 6th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Have you ever felt like all the things in life are heavy, as if you are weighed down by the responsibilities, problems, and worries you face? This is not how God wants you to live! He wants you to live freely and lightly in His grace. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. – Matthew 11:28-30, NIV But knowing this and living it out are two very different things. Understanding how to come to God and accept His rest can be hard. When faced with challenging issues in our life, we often do not even know where to start. How do I lay my burdens down in order to feel better? The best way to learn is to start simply by incorporating small changes into your life that are not overwhelming. As you do that, you gradually shift your thinking and actions, which leads to feeling better. It does not mean your problems will go away, but it does mean you can feel better as you handle them. There are no magic solutions or quick fixes to make everything in your life different or to make you feel better. However, making small steps and being diligent to follow them can bring some hope, as you trust God to bring change. Begin by reading through the list of ideas and choosing one or two to implement. If you attempt the whole list, it can become overwhelming. Instead, as you master a few small changes, you can then build upon that momentum once you have incorporated them [...]

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How to Develop Good Communication Skills

How to Develop Good Communication Skills

Kimberlyn Jaggers, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T11:15:23+00:00February 27th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

The importance of good communication skills cannot be understated at a work presentation, a seminar, or in general conversation. Someone with good communication skills is a person who can pass on and receive information and ideas with clarity and understanding. There are different types of communication including verbal, written, non-verbal, and visual. Our ability to maneuver and use these types of communication styles will land us an advantage. As the world is changing, our ability to communicate effectively is a high priority. Why are good communication skills necessary? The ability to hear and be heard is integral to how we live our lives, whether professionally, socially, or academically. Below are some examples of why good communication skills are important. Conflict resolution. No human interaction is without its moments of conflict. The ability to listen, understand, state one’s facts clearly, and talk respectfully goes a long way in resolving conflict. During a heated moment, staying calm and watching one’s nonverbal cues can be important in communicating the need for an amicable resolution. Whether the resolution comes through compromise or collaboration, good communication skills aid in this respect. Career advancement. In professional settings, one needs to know how to communicate. No better time is this seen than in how one answers questions during an interview. Prospective employers need well-rounded employees who will work well with others, can lead when needed, and are good team players. All this is made possible by one’s ability to communicate well. Building and maintaining personal relationships. It has been said that the success of relationships sorely lies in the ability to communicate. Relationships don’t just include romantic partnerships either; they include any relationship with any person, whether it be at work, in the family, or friendship in general. Through effective communication, we get to know those [...]

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Kate Motaung

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