Dealing with Negative Emotions and Avoiding Toxic Positivity
Everyone has times when they feel depressed, angry, outraged, or bitter. Some of us may have been taught that such emotions are negative because they do not produce anything healthy or positive. This can lead us to pretend that we are more emotionally robust than we feel, and we might expect others to adopt the same attitude. This is called toxic positivity. The roots of emotions Every emotion has a root. Sometimes that root is an event we went through. For example, we might feel anxiety around men because we experienced sexual assault in the past. Even if the event happened in childhood, it could result in real emotions in our adult lives. If we were to dismiss that anxiety as negative and try to be more positive and trusting, not only would it be ignoring a problem that is still in us, but it might also put us into a vulnerable situation. Just as a tree cannot be killed by picking off its leaves, we do not heal by ignoring our emotions, even the ones that make us (or others) uncomfortable. What is toxic positivity? Simply put, toxic positivity is the pressure to always remain upbeat. We hear it in phrases like, “Just get over it,” or “I’ll be fine – it’s nothing.” Sometimes it can even lurk in genuine encouragement. “Think happy thoughts,” and “look on the bright side” seem like they would be helpful, but they invalidate feelings and minimize a genuine trial. Scriptures and Bible verses are regularly taken out of context and used as weapons of toxic positivity. The irony of this is that God sees past our pretenses. He sees the root of our pain and struggle. He made us as emotionally complex as we are, and He is delighted to walk the [...]
