10 Conflict Resolution Strategies That Will Strengthen Your Relationship

Conflict is bound to happen in any household. We are all human with different thoughts, beliefs, emotions, personalities, and goals. Even two people who love each other are bound to disagree on some issues. However, how you resolve conflict can determine how strong your relationship is and what it can withstand.

Christian counseling can introduce conflict resolution strategies, techniques that are easy to learn and can change the trajectory of an argument by enabling both sides to come to an understanding without tantrums and silence.

The following is a list of 10 conflict resolution strategies you can try.

Listen, Don’t Interrupt

It is easy to get lost in an argument by not really listening and instead focusing on your own response or anger. But active listening is a skill that allows the other person to voice their concerns without interruptions. When you actively listen to your spouse, you ask questions, repeat portions for clarity, and acknowledge their feelings.

Avoid “You” Statements

When you use statements that start with “you,” your spouse will feel that you are pointing fingers. The blame game only perpetuates a disagreement further. Instead, use “I” statements when necessary. Instead of saying, “You are always at work,” try saying, “I miss you when you are gone, and I feel lonely.”

Take a Moment Before Speaking

One of the most common conflict resolution strategies is the pause. Before responding during an emotional disagreement with your spouse, take a moment to breathe. You can do this without leaving the room. Take a deep breath, hold for the count of four, and release to the count of four. This box breathing technique calms stress hormones and deactivates the fight-or-flight response so you can think clearly without reacting to emotions.

Acknowledge Your Spouse’s Feelings

Acknowledging your spouse’s feelings does not mean that you are accepting blame. Demonstrating that you understand why your spouse is upset reveals that you honor them and are willing to listen to what they have to say. The message they should hear is that their emotions are important to you.

Don’t Get Off Track

Have you ever argued with someone who continually brings up the past? Most of the time, the memory they are using as proof has nothing to do with the current issue or, at very least, will not help to solve the problem. Focus on one problem at a time, bringing the conversation back to the issue when it gets off track.

Agree About “Crossing the Line” Behaviors

No one wants conflict in their relationship, but it is inevitable. You should be able to argue without worrying about someone flying off the handle, screaming, or slamming doors. Discuss with your spouse what type of behaviors will not be tolerated during an argument, no matter the inciting issue.

Step Up and Admit Your Part

Take responsibility for your actions. Step up and admit your part in the conflict. This does not mean that you bear the full weight of responsibility. Admitting your part shows that you are willing to manage the situation as a loving adult. People love and admire those who are willing to be vulnerable and admit when they are wrong. More than likely, by taking the first step, your spouse will follow suit and admit their part so that you can move forward as a couple.

Work with Your Spouse to Identify Underlying Issues

What is really bothering you? If you feel that you and your spouse argue about the same things repeatedly, ask yourself what underlying issues are hiding in plain sight. It could be that one complaint uncovers a few serious issues that need to be managed.

Instead of Complaining, Work on a Solution

It’s easy to ride high emotions and complain or blame each other. However, what are you doing to fix the problem? Remarking about how things would be different if you’d known then what you know now only serves to make you both feel bad. Instead, work on a solution together.

Don’t Go to Bed Angry

Try not to go to bed angry. Spend a few minutes calming down after an argument, even if you have not reached a compromise yet. Create a warm atmosphere that leaves you both feeling safe and loved. Give a hug if your spouse wants that, or agree not to discuss the issue further until the next day. Work to create a hostility-free home together.

Christian Counseling for Couples Needing Conflict Resolution Strategies

Christian counseling is an effective tool for couples. Not only will you learn more conflict resolution strategies and be able to practice them, but your counselor will introduce you to other techniques as needed and address other issues that concern you. Christian counseling melds psychology with faith-based principles to help couples draw nearer to Christ while improving their mental health and marriage.

Call today to schedule a session.