On Becoming a Happy Person and Finding Happiness

Is there something you’ve always wanted to be and do? Most of us have long-cherished dreams and hopes about ourselves, but not many of us get to live them out. At the heart of our various pursuits, hopes, and dreams is one thing – the pursuit of happiness. We chase after things because we believe we will be happy if we obtain them. We all want to be happy, and that is what drives us and our day-to-day activities.

While we might all want to be happy, accomplishing it is easier said than done. A global happiness report is released annually, indicating the level of happiness and satisfaction people experience in their lives. The Scandinavian countries consistently rank as the top nations in the world in terms of happiness, according to data from recent years. In the most recent 2024 report, the United States slipped out of the top 20 of that list.

We all want happiness, but…

If there’s a pursuit that’s common to all people, it’s the pursuit of happiness. We’re all longing to find what the Bible calls “rest” or “shalom.” The word “shalom” is often translated as “peace,” but it means more than the sort of peace that happens when there isn’t conflict. Biblical peace is when all is as it should be; relationships are healthy, work is enjoyable and productive, one has a healthy sense of oneself, and all that’s around them is flourishing.

The problem that we have, and that humanity has had for ages, is that we can’t quite agree on what happiness looks like, or the best way to get to it. One person’s happiness might be obtained through another’s unwarranted suffering, or while disregarding others’ well-being. Sometimes, what we think will make us happy has exactly the opposite effect. This makes our pursuit of happiness fraught with risk and many dangers.

Still, happiness is something we all continue to pursue, and people from all walks of life and diverse beliefs all seek happiness in some form or another. This pursuit shows up in different ways, and it’s shaped by a person’s beliefs and experiences. If we look closely at the kinds of things people chase after, there are some things we have in common with each other that seem to contribute to a joyful and fulfilling life.

Ways People Pursue Happiness

One way people try to find happiness is by nurturing relationships that are meaningful. Building strong bonds with friends, family, and one’s community can provide a deep sense of joy. Such relationships offer not only companionship, but they also give us a space to find support as well as a sense of belonging. That’s likely one reason why healthy relationships are a key ingredient to a person’s overall well-being.

Another source of happiness for people is the pursuit of personal growth. Life is constantly moving, changing, and throwing fresh challenges at us. In response to this reality, engaging yourself in lifelong growth, self-improvement, and learning is an important ingredient in nurturing your happiness. In addition to this, self-care and activities aimed at that also help to improve your sense of well-being and contentment.

A third way that people try to achieve happiness is by helping others, whether through volunteering or other similar acts of altruism. Finding ways to contribute to the greater good and the well-being of others in or outside your community helps to foster a sense of purpose as well as satisfaction. This makes sense, as at the heart of the world the Lord created is love and humbly serving others (Philippians 2:1-11; Matthew 22:34-40; Mark 10:45).

There are small, daily practices that a person can engage in that can help them to feel happier, more grounded, and more present in their circumstances and relationships. Practicing mindfulness can help you to be present, which can help to considerably reduce your levels of stress and thereby increase your overall well-being.

When a person takes the time to do the things that they’re interested in or passionate about, that can also contribute to their happiness. You may have a hobby or creative pursuit that you enjoy immersing yourself in, and this can bring you a lot of satisfaction. In the same way, keeping one’s mind trained on being appreciative and grateful goes a long way to increasing happiness by becoming more aware of the amazing things life has to offer.

Happiness for the Christian

When it comes to happiness and the life of a Christian, things are much the same in several ways, but with some significant differences. It’s important to say outright that the Lord wants you to be happy; truly, deeply, and eternally happy. Instead of thinking of the Lord as a cosmic wet blanket, know that He is deeply invested in your happiness. The issue, as pointed out before, is that we think we know best what happiness is and how to get it. The Lord disagrees.

For believers in Christ, finding happiness is about blending practical habits with wisdom and insights gleaned from Scripture. One key insight is the recognition that things are poor substitutes for God. We are looking for happiness in all the wrong places. As C.S. Lewis once put it in his characteristically striking and evocative language:

It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased – C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses.

God wants us to have true, infinite joy, but we’re often too caught up, as Lewis puts it, in drink, sex, and ambition. Many of our habits, such as overworking, are aimed at securing what we think will make us happy. However, the real consequences are anxiety, chronic stress, relationship breakdown, and conflict, to name a few. These affect our well-being in untold ways.

The Bible is replete with stories, songs, and encouragement about finding happiness in the right places, and descriptions of the challenges we bring upon ourselves when we don’t.

We find in David the contradictions every person experiences – he finds immense joy in the Lord, as his many psalms attest. He faces many trials, sometimes feels abandoned by the Lord as well as by loved ones, and faces battles, but he retains a deep sense of happiness (Read Psalms 5, 22, 24).

However, at the same time, David famously committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband Uriah to cover it up. He sought happiness in the wrong place, and because of that one act, he brought ruin upon his family (2 Samuel 11-19). David found his way back to the Lord (Psalm 51), but he’d caused untold damage to his own family and to many generations to come. We find ourselves confronted by similar choices in our lives.

Another dimension that emerges from the Bible is that happiness can be found in even the most difficult of circumstances, if your focus and ultimate hope isn’t located here and now. In the New Testament, Paul’s story offers insight into finding joy amid adversity, and he demonstrates the power of faith in overcoming life’s many adversities.

Even though Paul experienced many hardships, he somehow persevered. He also didn’t just persevere, barely scraping by; he was joyful. He was beaten, stoned, and left for dead, was shipwrecked, and imprisoned several times for his faith in Jesus. But when you read Paul’s letters, you find he often expresses deep contentment and joy through his connection with Christ. In his letter to the Philippians, for example, he writes,

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me – Philippians 4:11-13, ESV

Paul is by no means in the best circumstances – he’s sitting in jail as he’s writing these words – and yet he is ‘abounding’, joyful, and encouraging others! Through his faith in Jesus, Paul has grown emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually resilient. He’s found something, or Someone, who’s allowed him to be happy in all kinds of circumstances.

Happiness can also be found through the following:

Gratitude Instead of grumbling, gossiping, brawling, or arguing, gratitude is the path to happiness. Giving thanks to God helps us to walk in love and with an openness to what the Lord is doing in our lives. Giving thanks makes a huge difference in one’s life (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Ephesians 5:3-4; Galatians 5:16-26; James 3:1-12).

Gratitude also includes celebrating milestones and successes. Give thanks to the Lord for these.

Forgiveness Forgiving others frees you from resentment, bitterness, and grudges. Release yourself from the desire for vengeance, trusting that the Lord sees, and He’ll sort it out (Matthew 6:5-15; Romans 12:14-21). Forgiveness takes radical trust in God’s goodness and control, but it releases you from so much, opening the way for happiness.

Contentment There is a saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. We compare ourselves to others, and we also feel unsettled in ourselves with the thought that maybe we’re missing out or being deprived of something. Contentment is closely linked to gratitude; it’s about being okay with what you have, instead of focusing on what you lack (1 Timothy 6:6-10). Your attitude and perspective could be where you find happiness.

Happiness is a lifelong pursuit, one that starts with finding rest, peace, and joy in the Lord. Challenges can and will come. The Lord strengthens you for them, and there is support available. Reach out and talk to a Christian counselor to help you on your pursuit of happiness.