8 Common Habits of Anxious People

Anxiety is something we all have to deal with occasionally, but for some, it is a constant experience. Anxiety can be complex, irrational, and sometimes undetectable. However, the people who must deal with anxiety daily will feel the effects of it, whether they know where it comes from or not. Highly anxious people tend to develop similar habits over time. These might serve as indicators or red flags for the presence of anxiety in their lives.

Common Habits of Anxious People

They get comfort and security from constantly rewatching TV shows

Highly anxious people are constantly in fight-or-flight mode and find it difficult to relax and switch off their thoughts. Some people’s coping methods can be damaging in the long-term, such as using copious medication or substances to relax. However, some people with high anxiety use visual media to unwind, and it is usually a movie series or TV show that they have watched before.

Studies show that when we watch TV, our brains are less active than when we are asleep. When it is media that we have watched before or a series with a low-stakes plotline, it demands even less from us and makes for a comforting, familiar experience. Some people find comfort in having “background noise,” Even if they are not paying attention to what is happening on the screen, they’d far rather have it playing than not.

They suffer from insomnia because of overthinking late at night

One of the most frustrating aspects of dealing with anxiety is that the brain doesn’t seem to switch off, even when the body is exhausted. It can often feel that your brain is somehow even sharper late at night when you should be winding down for bed. Some people come to dread the stillness and quiet of late nights because they anticipate tossing and turning as their brain churns through information at a feverish pace.

It is doubly frustrating to be kept awake all night by overactive thoughts because, past a certain hour, there is little you can practically accomplish. Some people find it helpful to siphon their thoughts out by writing in a journal, making a to-do list for the next day, or speaking their ideas out in a voice note to themselves.

Sometimes, it helps to abandon traditional writing or speaking and adopt a stream-of-consciousness style, where you express whatever random, unconnected thoughts appear in your head. The random, less-structured approach might be more cathartic for an overwrought mind.

They replay interactions constantly, criticizing their social “performances”

Many people are in the habit of mentally replaying social interactions throughout the day and evaluating or critiquing their performance. Though this is a common habit, it is also a symptom of anxiety and often leads to a person feeling worse about themselves. People tend to latch onto their perceived failures. They might end up criticizing themselves for having made a common mistake.

It’s natural to wonder how others perceive us and to cringe at our social mishaps. However, it might be more helpful to practice looking for what we got right in the day and to congratulate ourselves for those moments. Self-evaluation is a helpful tool if a person can practice being objective about themselves.

They procrastinate tasks because they fear not executing them perfectly

Perfectionism is a form of anxiety, though few people make the connection. Our performance is evaluated from the time we are children. We are rewarded for our achievements, disciplined for failures, and warned if we are coasting. Some children attach their worth to their performance, and they carry this tension into their adulthood in the form of fear of failure.

The only way a person can confront performance anxiety, or a fear of failure is through risk. Only as a person faces the reality of failing or underperforming can they know their self-worth despite not meeting expectations. Ironically, it is often fear of failure itself that keeps a person from even trying, ensuring that they have failed by not even attempting to do anything.

They apologize frequently for things that were not their fault

Anxious people constantly worry that they have offended someone or made a mistake so costly that others will change their opinion of them. In a way, it is the same as a child not having a sense of object permanence: the anxious person doesn’t realize that they are loved and accepted even when they make a mistake.

Taking unnecessary blame or responsibility does not make others see you in a better light, and in some cases, it only ensures others will mistreat you. There is no quick fix for this habit, as it is symptomatic of a deeper issue. People who take the blame for everything often have a deep need to be accepted and validated. Taking the blame for things is a manipulation tactic to make others see you as responsible.

They constantly compare themselves to others, afraid they don’t measure up

Anxiety is often connected to a person’s confidence and sense of self-worth. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. Unfortunately, society and culture invite people to compare themselves to others, whether on social media, in real-life friendships, or work performance. Some people are so used to comparing themselves to others that they no longer realize they are doing it, though they still feel anxious about it.

When you compare yourself to others, you tend to focus on what you lack or where you don’t meet the criteria. In doing so, you lose sight of what you have and what progress you have already made. It might help to sit back and evaluate. List your achievements, unique qualities, and accomplishments. If you struggle to list these, ask for help from a friend or loved one. It might help to hear loved ones praise your achievements and qualities.

They struggle to relax because they constantly wonder about “what if” scenarios

It is common to feel anxious about the future or to feel anxiety about something we are currently facing. However, anxious people frequently return to their past and imagine numerous “what if” scenarios, envisioning how things could have turned out differently.

You can’t change what has already happened, but simply knowing that is not enough to change your ways. You might be carrying around many regrets, mixed in with some shame and guilt over something that happened in your past. The only way to move on is to confront these regrets and talk them through with someone. Doing this will bring you some form of closure, and you might learn something about making decisions going forward.

They often feel guilty for needing time alone, even though they need it to recharge

Even extroverts need a break from others at times. For introverts, solitude is crucial to recharging their inner batteries and decompressing from a long day around others. Anxious people tend to worry about offending others to the point that they compromise their boundaries and preferences to make others comfortable while they suffer.

It can take years to learn how to define your boundaries and how to keep erect and enforce them. It’s almost impossible to learn alone, and you might need to talk with someone who can help you in this area. You might need someone to tell you that not only is it acceptable to withdraw from others and value your personal space, but for you it is necessary.

You might be aware that you have high levels of anxiety in your life, but you don’t know what to do about it. Anxiety is often attached to events from our past. Sometimes it is a condition requiring medication. It might help to talk with a counselor about your experiences, even if it is only to share a burden that is causing your anxiety. Contact me today if any of these habits resonate with you.