Low Self-esteem and Marriage

Addressing low self-esteem is thought to be an essential part of taking care of ourselves. If we do not understand ourselves and who we are before God, we are less likely to know how to love others. It is particularly important to learn to fully love our spouse. We are to base our sense of beauty on the heart and not the outward appearance. This is a fundamental principle of the Bible, yet we find it hard to achieve.

No one is perfect

The reality is that no one is perfect. We all have flaws that we feel make us less desirable and confident. God says that we are created in His image. To overcome low self-esteem, we must first understand that no one is perfect. Even though we may think that we have it all together, we all have many weaknesses and sins that prevent us from being our best selves. Recognizing this means that we can overlook shortcomings in others.

For You created my innermost parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You When I was made in secret, And skillfully formed in the depths of the earth; Psalm 139:13-15, NASB

Knowing who you are in Christ

We so often get lost in who the world tells us we should be and forget what we know is true according to God’s word. The world wants us to believe that unless we are successful and beautiful by its standards then we are unworthy. Christ went to the cross to redeem us. He went to the cross willingly so that we would know that we could become new creations. It is hard to recognize that we are so much more than the mirror shows. We are made in the image of God.

And that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. – Ephesians 4:24, NASB

Fully acknowledging that you were made in the image of God takes time and requires one to study the truths of the Bible. No matter what the world says, God’s word will always point you to the truth. Don’t allow yourself to continue to have body insecurity just because the world’s standards are based on the shallow lies of the enemy.

And have put on the new self, which is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created it. – Colossians 3:10, NASB

It is the agenda of the enemy to cause you to doubt everything about yourself so he can fill your mind full of lies. He is out to destroy you at all costs. But Jesus came to give you an abundant life full of grace.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came so that they would have life, and have it abundantly. – John 10:10, NASB

The lies of society

Fashion models are photographed in exotic places wearing flashy clothes leading us to believe that is what beauty should look like. Men and women in business are depicted as having the big house and nice Escalade enticing us to think that is what it means to be successful. This is far from the truth. These are man-made definitions. These are based on the lies that our sinful nature wants to believe.

For what good will it do a person if he gains the whole world, but forfeits his soul? Or what will a person give in exchange for his soul? – Matthew 16:26, NASB

God did not create us to be in constant competition with each other. Love was not meant to be based on what we have accumulated in the world. Love was meant to live in peace.

You are not alone in your battle to overcome body insecurity. Many women battle the lies of society daily. Sometimes they feel as though they will never beat the demon of low self-esteem. If this is you, then contact a Christian counselor to help you understand how to overcome this mindset.

How does low self-esteem affect marriage?

Having low self-esteem can affect many relationships in your life. The most affected relationship is your marriage. Because you aren’t confident in who you are for yourself, you don’t know how to be confident in a way that supports your spouse.

God created man and woman to work together as a team. This teamwork was not based on our outside appearance. We were supposed to become a team based on mutual love and respect for each other. He intended for husband and wife to create a loving home using His principles.

When we let ourselves get lost in the lies of the world, we can find ourselves becoming distant in our marriage. We may even begin to think that our spouse no longer loves us. This can open up avenues of deception that tempt a person to see infidelity where it isn’t.

Our spouse may not be cheating on us but because we are insecure, we become concerned that they are seeking a relationship elsewhere. Next thing we know we are trying to repair a marriage that was hurt because of lies from the enemy.

What can I do to overcome low self-esteem?

Overcoming low self-esteem is possible through practicing faith and repentance. God’s word can give you direction in beating the lies of the enemy. Here are a few things you can do to help you overcome your battle with body insecurity.

Change the way you think: Transform the way you think about yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be conformed to the way the world thinks. Paul tells us in Romans 12:2 that we should renew our thoughts daily. This means that we need to think about the good and holy things of God.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things. As for the things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. – Philippians 4:8, NASB

Declare who you are: Don’t allow yourself to be stuck in the mindset of despair. Instead, begin to believe in your worth as someone made in God’s image. If you are a Christian, you are the apple of God’s eye so be what you are.

Know that God loves you: In the grand scheme of things, the most important thing you can remind yourself of is that more than anyone in the world, God loves you. He loves you despite your mistakes and flaws. Because He loves you, He made a way for you to be reconciled to Him. More than anything, God desires to have a relationship with you.

“For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My favor will not be removed from you, Nor will My covenant of peace be shaken,” Says the LORD who has compassion on you. – Isaiah 54:10, NASB

Know your spouse: Knowing that your spouse sees your Godly value will help you battle the lies. Your spouse is one of the most important people in your life. They are the ones who see you outside of the mirror. They know your insights and heart. They see what you can’t. Even though it may be hard, trust your spouse when they say you are worthy. Sometimes they know your value better than you do.

Your confidence is not found in the material things of this world. Your beauty is not defined by the newest makeup craze. Beauty and confidence are found in the way you believe God sees you. This is why you must change the way you think. Overcoming body insecurity is a process that starts with knowing that God loves you in spite of your sins.

If you feel that you need assistance in facing body insecurity, please contact a Christian counselor near you. They can help you in this struggle using faith-based strategies.