Coming Out of the Quicksand: Recovering From Infidelity

Infidelity is like a quicksand trap. The draw of an illicit encounter retains an alluring appearance on the surface. By the time we are engaged in it, however, it magnetizes and pulls us under. Its influence restricts us and makes it difficult to get free without drawing attention. We may not want to do it, but reaching out for help can extricate us from the clutches of what would consume and devour.

Satan would try to seal our mouths with the sting of shame instead of asking for an escape and the strength to turn back to the Lord. Yet, we don’t have to silence ourselves, but instead freely embrace the Helper in the Person of the Holy Spirit and those who will help to restore us (1 Corinthians 10:13; Galatians 6:1-2).

It is possible to exit an adulterous affair but linger in shame. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we may no longer see someone we respect or even view ourselves as someone that the Lord loves. The same enemy whose enticement we once followed now taunts us with condemnation and shame (James 1:14).

Although we cannot reverse the choices that led to our part in the infidelity or undo the past, we can trust the eternal God to heal what time cannot. Beginning today with true repentance turns our hearts back to the Father and what He says about us. This is what penetrates the wounds we can’t reach and what infidelity couldn’t answer (1 John 1:9).

Recovering from infidelity doesn’t have to be done in isolation. We require the support of sisters and brothers in Christ to facilitate restoration. Ultimately, it is the work of the Holy Spirit within but Jesus moves through His Body to bring wholeness in ways that are impossible in our own strength.

We don’t have to remain entrenched in shame that has the potential to destroy us when operating alone. Instead, we can choose to embrace the healing that surges through our connections, as we fellowship with others in the Body of Christ (James 5:16).

We don’t have to reveal every detail concerning our homes and marriages. Having a safe space where we can be authentic and engage in supportive accountability may save our lives, and often our relationships, before they unravel. People who love us enough to speak the truth and aren’t willing to watch us engage in behaviors or tend to a mindset that will eventually sabotage the marriage and family that we have prayed and worked to build.

If our hearts are bent on going their own way, it may be hard to hear the words of correction (Jeremiah 17:9). True love and friendship don’t cover the sin, but it seeks to cover our souls from the harm sin leverages. It challenges and corrects, speaking the truth in love and snatching us from despair.

Next steps for recovering from infidelity

While you may have experienced infidelity, you don’t have to remain imprisoned in the sin that brought you to this point. You have supernatural help available through the Holy Spirit and the support of counselors who will help you walk through this season.

Even your presence on this site is a move of God’s love, calling you up and away from the downward spiral of shame. Explore the resources on this site and schedule with a counselor. Although the enemy seeks to isolate and destroy, you can emerge from the gravitational clutches of quicksand and recover from infidelity with a testimony of God’s goodness and glory.