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So far Allen Christian Counseling has created 29 blog entries.

How and When Teen Therapy Can Help

By |2023-11-29T18:37:44+00:00November 29th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Teen therapy helps with a wide variety of issues that affect some teens, such as stress, peer pressure, self-esteem, and depression. Therapy offers an open and comfortable environment for teens to process their feelings and improve their self-awareness. Teen therapy assists with these and other issues: Body image. Academic stress. Anxieties and fear. Depression. Addictions, like substance abuse disorder or gaming disorder. Transitional changes. Grief and loss. Group interaction skills. Bullying and cyberbullying. Impulse control. Body-focused repetitive behaviors. Tension between family members. Talking to someone about your teen’s behavior. It is useful for parents of teenagers to actively look for people who are linked to your teenager and recruit them for some level of support. Some parents feel isolated and baffled as they look to be the best parents they can be to their teenagers. Talking with sports coaches, school counselors, teachers, and friends of your child, as well as their parents, could give you a better understanding of changing behavior. If you notice changes in the behavior of your teen, some useful questions to this wider network may include: Has my child said or done anything that did not sit right with you lately? Is there anything that concerns you about my child? Are there any changes in how my child behaves that you have noticed? Can you tell me about them? How would you react if I were to say to you my child is struggling with a particular issue – possibly (name issue)? How effective is teen therapy anyway? The research findings are clear that teen therapy is effective, and it is especially effective when the teen has a good relationship with the person counseling them. During treatment teens commonly learn how to better regulate their emotions, manage their mental health, cope with stress, and navigate [...]

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The Total Package: Nurturing Your Spiritual, Mental, and Emotional Health

By |2023-11-22T15:41:44+00:00November 22nd, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Jesus didn’t suffer an agonizing death of torturous cruelty so that we, His children, could wallow in pain, damaging our mental and emotional health. His sacrifice was intended to accomplish salvation for all of God’s people, with all of its accompanying benefits in this life as well. Though the Father’s aim in sending the Son was to reconcile fallen humanity to Himself by giving them new life, He intends for that new life to transform our human experience. Our salvation is also designed to testify to God’s goodness. Christ came to bring to us abundant life, so His sons and daughters would be living displays of His glory to the surrounding world. Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. – 3 John 2, ESV That is not a denial of the joys of spending eternity with the One who loved us first. The idea of living eternally in Heaven is something for the believer to anticipate with joy. Having a redeemed soul is a critical part of experiencing abundant life in this world, even where our mental and emotional health is concerned. We assert that because of Jesus’ blood the Father forgives our sins and cleanses us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9; Romans 10:9-10). However, healing our hearts (though never perfectly this side of heaven) is one of salvation’s effects in this world. When we consider this, it can reassure us that Jesus is concerned with the totality of our well-being. Believers tend to emphasize spiritual wellness as we nurture and celebrate our faith, and it is truly only because of that spiritual wellness that any sort of mental health can come about. God is our Father who intends for [...]

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Coming Out of the Quicksand: Recovering From Infidelity

By |2024-04-04T13:00:57+00:00August 28th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity is like a quicksand trap. The draw of an illicit encounter retains an alluring appearance on the surface. By the time we are engaged in it, however, it magnetizes and pulls us under. Its influence restricts us and makes it difficult to get free without drawing attention. We may not want to do it, but reaching out for help can extricate us from the clutches of what would consume and devour. Satan would try to seal our mouths with the sting of shame instead of asking for an escape and the strength to turn back to the Lord. Yet, we don’t have to silence ourselves, but instead freely embrace the Helper in the Person of the Holy Spirit and those who will help to restore us (1 Corinthians 10:13; Galatians 6:1-2). It is possible to exit an adulterous affair but linger in shame. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we may no longer see someone we respect or even view ourselves as someone that the Lord loves. The same enemy whose enticement we once followed now taunts us with condemnation and shame (James 1:14). Although we cannot reverse the choices that led to our part in the infidelity or undo the past, we can trust the eternal God to heal what time cannot. Beginning today with true repentance turns our hearts back to the Father and what He says about us. This is what penetrates the wounds we can’t reach and what infidelity couldn’t answer (1 John 1:9). Recovering from infidelity doesn’t have to be done in isolation. We require the support of sisters and brothers in Christ to facilitate restoration. Ultimately, it is the work of the Holy Spirit within but Jesus moves through His Body to bring wholeness in ways that are impossible in [...]

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You Are Not Alone: Common Women’s Insecurities

By |2023-09-19T10:01:04+00:00August 17th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

There is likely nothing that adds to a burden more than the feeling that you’re carrying it alone. Sometimes, the best thing you can hear is “Me too!”. The fact that another person shares the same burden, that you aren’t alone, or weird, in dealing with certain things, doesn’t eliminate your struggle, but it certainly lightens the load. Women’s insecurities are no different. C.S. Lewis once wrote, “When two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’ It is when two such persons discover one another, when, whether with immense difficulties and semi-articulate fumblings or with what would seem to us amazing and elliptical speed, they share their vision - it is then that Friendship is born. And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.” Knowing that other women have insecurities like yours may not forge a friendship, but it allows you to stand in “immense solitude” with others. Common women’s insecurities All people have insecurities, and they stem from a variety of sources. Some insecurities may not be peculiar to women, but many women experience them. Airing them out allows the sense of shame, guilt, or fear that shrouds them to dissipate. Some of the more common women’s insecurities include the following: Insecurities about one’s body. There is a lot of pressure in society to conform to certain beauty standards. Ads, movies, and social media all conspire to create the image of the perfect woman. A negative body image can result, leading to dissatisfaction with the body and [...]

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Key Questions to Ask in Premarital Counseling

By |2023-06-28T11:16:49+00:00June 28th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The American family is changing rapidly, and now more than ever shifts are occurring which means, for example, that many are choosing to live without a romantic partner. According to 2019 census data, around 38% of American adults from ages 25-54 were “unpartnered,” meaning they were neither living with a partner nor were they married. While all that is happening, people are nonetheless choosing to be married despite these broader societal trends, and it’s important for those taking that step to be prepared for marriage. Premarital counseling is a key component in the marriage preparation process. Do we need premarital counseling? Getting ready to be married is a busy and overwhelming time. Not only are weddings expensive, but the social strain they can cause is daunting. The couple can find themselves having more arguments over napkins, seating charts, and color schemes than they may have had in their entire dating life together. It may seem like adding one more thing to the to-do list is courting trouble.   Despite it seeming like an optional extra, premarital counseling is something that every couple will benefit from. A wedding is an event that takes months to plan, but it’s over in a matter of hours. The wedding is a single day, but you have the rest of your lives to prepare for. Premarital counseling is the essential preparation that gets a couple on the same page about important aspects of their life together. It helps a couple enter their lifelong union equipped to nurture their relationship and handle the challenges that will inevitably arise. Important questions premarital counseling. Premarital counseling can happen through a spiritual leader like a pastor, and it can happen through a professional counselor. Whether online or in person, as a couple, or with other couples in group premarital [...]

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Aging in America: Long-term Care Options

By |2023-09-16T06:33:18+00:00June 22nd, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

There is a certain anxiety that many people face when they consider the future. They worry about what they will do when they reach retirement or who will care for them if they can no longer care for themselves. With more people aging in America, a retiree may live well into their eighties, nineties, or beyond. For successful aging in America, we should plan for long-term care even if we do not think we might need it. We can remove some of the anxiety and fear by having a written plan for long-term care in case of an emergency. For example, you may plan to live in your own home after retirement. However, twenty years after retirement, circumstances may require you to seek long-term care, possibly in an assisted living facility where you can age in place with healthcare available as you need it. Knowing the options available to you can make it easier to plan for the future. Types of long-term care Long-term care may be required if you struggle with activities for daily living (ADLs), such as housekeeping, preparing meals, personal hygiene and grooming, and laundry. These can range from someone checking in on you at home a couple of times per week or you live at a facility with full-time care. Unpaid family and friends. The most common option is relying on family and friends for help. These are unpaid caregivers who may stop in weekly to help clean and do laundry. This option also includes family members who live with you and help with ADLs like bathing, toileting, and cooking. Many family members fill this role for aging parents and spouses. In some states, a family member or friend can become certified as a home health aide and receive compensation to make aging in America a [...]

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What to Do When You Get Stuck in the Grieving Process

By |2023-06-06T19:52:54+00:00June 5th, 2023|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

No one wishes to lose a loved one, yet the passing on of someone close to us is part of the cycle of life. We may question why a loved one was taken from us, but in the end, we must learn to move forward through the grieving process and be present for the people here. The grieving process helps to facilitate that healing. We feel the loss in stages or phases, and our emotions have time to process the loss. However, there is no set time period for grieving. We cannot estimate that someone will go from the shock of learning of a loved one’s death to accepting life without them in a few days. This process is different for everyone. You may mourn for several weeks to several years. The grieving process There are five stages of the grieving process. The first is shock or denial: you cannot believe the person is gone. You keep waiting to hear that their alleged death is a prank or a mistake. The second stage is anger. You wonder how did this happen or who is responsible. You may be looking for someone to blame, or you may blame yourself. You may even be angry at your loved one for leaving you or being at the wrong place at the wrong time in an accident. The third stage is bargaining. You may pray that God let you die instead of your loved one. Or you may obsess over what you would give up for another day with your loved one. The fourth stage is depression. This stage often hits hard and in waves. Unlike persistent sadness, a common sign of depression, depression from grief is in response to thoughts about your loved one. For example, clinical depression has you focus on yourself [...]

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What to Do When Your Friends are a Toxic Couple

By |2023-09-16T06:41:47+00:00April 29th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Most of us at one time or another in our lives have had that one friend that our parents warned us wouldn’t be a good influence on us. We might have brushed that off as parental paranoia, but as we grow older we begin to see the wisdom in curating our friendships. This can be true in your relationships as a couple as well. There is wisdom in these words from Paul: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV) Our lives aren’t hermetically sealed off from the influence of others. This makes the choice of the company we keep an important one, even as a couple. What then does one do if they have friends that aren’t a positive influence? What is a toxic couple? To begin with, it’s important to define terms. The word toxic has gained a lot of traction in popular parlance over the last few years. Appended to anything, it communicates the idea that whatever it is attached to ought to be avoided at all costs because it is at best unhealthy and at worst downright dangerous. Such an understanding leads us to immediately ostracize whoever and whatever is labeled as toxic. While the term toxic may have a broad semantic range, the word will be used here to denote unhealthy patterns of thought and behavior. A toxic couple is therefore a couple that displays unhealthy patterns of thought and behavior in their relationship. Using this definition of toxic is helpful for us to become more empathetic. If we’re honest with ourselves, we all have unhealthy patterns of thought and behavior in our lives. Some of these may manifest under specific circumstances, such as when we’re stressed, or they relate to certain areas of our lives, such as at work [...]

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Cultivating Healthy Family Relationships: Bible Verses About Family

By |2023-09-16T06:50:22+00:00March 15th, 2023|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Family is the best of things, and yet it can sometimes be challenging. You love them, but sometimes you hate them and can’t stand to be around them. One person describes family: “Families are like branches on a tree; we grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one.” (Anonymous) Whatever you may feel about your family, whether Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the other holidays are a time you are positively giddy about time together or they are a time you dread and that brings sorrow, they are your family. It might be that thoughts of family stir up negative emotions for you because of past or present experiences. The Bible speaks honestly and realistically about families, as it does on every other subject, and it also speaks a word of hope for families. One way we can have hope of redeeming the word and concept of ‘family’ is rooted in recognizing that God has created a new family for us to be part of. Bible Verses about Family Family drama is common among Americans, as it is across the world. Everyone has a relative or two that the whole family tends to avoid, and sadly you might be that person for one reason or another. Across time, family drama is a constant, and we find many stories in the Bible that remind us of this. Instead of quoting specific Bible verses, this article will point out the stories that help portray an accurate picture of families. Where possible this will focus on a specific verse that sums up the story. From the first pages of the Bible, we find Adam and Eve playing the blame game when things go awry. The first human couple disobeys God by eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 3). [...]

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6 Tips for How to Help Your Children through a Difficult Season

By |2023-09-16T06:56:08+00:00January 31st, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

As parents, one of our biggest desires is to raise godly, productive members of society. We want our children to be strong, independent, God-fearing, loyal, kind, and respectful. We desire for them to stand out from the crowd, notice people who are struggling, respect authority, work hard, and grow in their relationship with Christ. We pray they save themselves for marriage, choose godly spouses, choose the best career path for their dreams, and continue to come to us for guidance and direction. The reality is that our children will struggle. They might be teased or ridiculed. They might get cut from a team or club to which they desperately want to belong. They might feel invisible. They might want to fit in. They might choose friends we would not choose for them. They might struggle in sports. They might struggle in school. They might have their heart broken by a friend or crush. They might struggle with mental health issues. They might struggle with faith. They might struggle at home. 6 Tips for How to Help Your Children Here are a few things to keep in mind to help support your children through the difficulties of their journey: 1. Don’t compare one child’s journey to another child’s journey. Just as it can be all too easy to compare our journey to those around us, it often produces unwanted pressure and negative feelings in our children. It is important not to compare one child’s journey to another child’s journey. Each child is unique and will feel and experience things differently. Sit with them in their grief. Validate what they are feeling. Get on their eye level when talking and let your heart and emotions connect with theirs.  2.Validate your children's feelings. Many adults assume that children have it easy. Some people [...]

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