Joanna Kucherera

The bond between mother and child is often complex and can encompass conflicting experiences. Many of us have shared a seemingly loving and respectful bond with our mothers through childhood and teenage years, only to reach adulthood and realize that our mother has been gaslighting, manipulating, or treating us unfairly for most of our lives. A narcissistic mother can be arrogant, entitled, controlling, overly critical, and attention-seeking. The effects of being exposed to her ways can leave us with low self-esteem, diminished trust, and physical and emotional exhaustion from the lack of boundaries in the relationship. This article highlights some common experiences shared by those with a narcissistic mother and goes over some options for coping with these particular types of relationships. However, this information can be applied to relationships with any influential narcissistic relative or loved one, and the term “primary caregiver” may be used in place of the word “mother.” Being able to identify how a narcissistic mother has impacted our life is often the start of dealing with childhood trauma. What is narcissism? Narcissism is a personality trait that looks like extreme self-centeredness, self-absorption, an inflated sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy. It leads a person to think that they are better or more important than anyone else, that their values are the best, or that their way of doing things is the only correct way. Narcissism is a spectrum, and those at the extreme end of the spectrum have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), a medically diagnosable mental illness. It can be difficult to diagnose because narcissists barely ever accept that something might be wrong with their personality. Beneath their mask of unbreakable confidence, narcissists are often fragile and insecure and regularly react emotionally to even the slightest criticism. This can mean explosive outbursts, [...]