5 Reasons Why Couples Therapy Might Be Good for Your Marriage

Before a couple gets married, they have dreams and visions for their marriage. Couples rarely imagine going to counseling. During the first few years of marriage, it’s easy to believe the other party will change their bad behaviors and habits simply because they love the other party. However, each of them eventually recognizes the other is not going to change. This can cause fights and quarrels, resulting in a marriage that can be difficult to restore.

Every marriage has its highs and lows. Even the marriages that lasted the longest have peaks and valleys. No matter what season of life your marriage may be in, it may be good for you and your spouse to seek couples therapy. Even the best marriages have used counseling if they can’t see eye and eye on a problem or want to move forward with a healthy, thriving marriage. Therapy no longer has the stigma it once had.

At one time, counseling indicated to people that something was wrong with them. However, counseling is a normal part of a thriving marriage. Every marriage can use good, biblical counseling. Here are some reasons why couples therapy might be good for your marriage:

A third-party perspective

If you and your spouse have difficulty agreeing on a subject, it’s good to get a third-party perspective. A third party, particularly a Christian, might help you see the situation from a different perspective. Sometimes they can give you an idea you and your spouse have not thought of before. By approaching the subject from a different perspective, it may help you resolve the issue with only a minimal amount of problem-solving required.

Outside perspectives also help even the score for couples who have difficulty seeing eye to eye in conflict. Both parties may be tempted to triangulate their relatives or friends by venting to them, only to receive affirmation that they are in the right. This only compounds the severity of the problem.

Both parties go into defense mode and shut down their communication into statements to prove their side is correct rather than provide understanding. Each partner would rather be right than in right relationship. But a third party doesn’t take sides. Rather, they provide a balanced perspective, considering both partners’ points of view.

A counselor can see the issue from a different angle and break it down so both sides understand each other better. Not only does each partner learn a new way to understand the other, they learn to empathize with the other’s perspective. With the help of a counselor, the couple moves one step closer to compassion, empathy, and better understanding.

It helps you move forward

If the couple has issues they cannot resolve, a marriage cannot move forward in a healthy way. God wants people to grow in their marriages. However, it is easy for a couple to give up and not seek to resolve the conflict.

A third-party counselor will give each spouse exercises to do and questions to answer. When the couple re-convenes at the next appointment, the counselor can assess their progress. The couple moves forward toward resolution, which is better for the relationship.

Situations where one gives up and sweeps the issue under the rug are not conducive to a healthy marriage. Counselors can help both parties move forward in the immediate conflict and throughout their marriage.

It increases love

Simply agreeing to go to counseling will help the couple re-dedicate their love for each other. The state of a marriage can be most accurately assessed when both parties are willing to resolve their conflict. When one person resists getting counseling, it communicates a lack of care or concern for the other.

If both parties are willing to work on their marriage it communicates that they care and love each other and are committed to working on their future. Love is more than merely posting social media pictures or holding hands in public. When both parties agree to go to counseling, they are putting in the extra work to make their marriage last.

It helps each party learn more about each other

No matter how long a couple has been married, it is easy to believe each party knows everything about the other, but this is impossible. As time goes on, each party will be surprised by what they learned about the other. There’s no better place for these things to be revealed than a counselor’s office. Deep conversations will not always happen at home. However, a quiet environment where a third party asks direct questions will help bring issues to the surface.

For example, one party who complains that the other is not doing their share of the housework is communicating about a different need than simply doing more chores. The party is crying out for love and attention and is asking the other party to respond. When the other party does not recognize this and sees it only as a chore issue, the first person will feel unappreciated, unloved, or undervalued. It’s important to address the deeper needs so that the other surface issues don’t arise.

It breathes new life into a stale relationship

Although investing time and money into marriage takes work, it is important for the health of the marriage. However, sometimes couples get so upset with each other that they give up and stop planning and making time for each other. This can kill a marriage.

However, a counselor may help breathe new life into the relationship by suggesting exercises that help re-kindle that love. These exercises can be as simple as asking questions to each other at home, spending more time doing activities they’d love to do together, or anything in between.

A counselor will take a person’s budget and availability. The counselor will also take each party’s personality and willingness to work on the relationship into account. The counselor will delineate the responsibility of investment in the marriage to both equally. This way one party doesn’t feel they are investing more into their relationship than the other.

By dividing the responsibility of the exercises in half, both parties feel as if they’re giving equal amounts of work to the other. This will help both parties feel equally valued and appreciated, instead of one person doing all the work.

Couples therapy may not seem appealing but could have positive effects on both parties involved. Not only is the counselor able to use their gifts to bring health and renewal to a person’s marriage, but the couple can see that they each want to work on their marriage. This alone will help revitalize a marriage where both parties feel like the other doesn’t care about the relationship.

As each spouse emotionally invests in the other by going to counseling, not only does it breathe new life into a marriage that may be stuck or floundering, but they also discover new information about each other.

This, in turn, will help them understand themselves and each other, allowing their emotional needs for unconditional acceptance to be met, and encouraging change. This helps both parties become more like the Christlike character they want to emulate.

If you are willing to strengthen your marriage through biblical counseling, give our office a call today. We can set up your first, risk-free appointment.