Anger Management Tips for Teens

Anger is a normal part of being a person. It is okay to feel angry in the right circumstances and to express it in a healthy way. Anger becomes a problem when you can’t manage it, and it gets destructive or out of control. In such cases, anger management may be advised.

Some signs that this might be happening to you include expressing your anger in unsafe or unhealthy ways, harming your day-to-day life, or affecting your relationships with friends and family.

Why People Get Angry

Examples of unhealthy ways of dealing with anger include shouting, cursing, throwing things, breaking things, being rude, physically hurting others, making threats, or getting into fights. It can also be taking your anger out on yourself by depriving yourself of things you need, keeping yourself from doing things you enjoy, or engaging in self-harm.

People get angry for many reasons such as feeling judged, disrespected, inadequate, embarrassed, humiliated, or misunderstood; because they are being bullied, abused, or discriminated against; because a lot of things are building up inside them and they don’t know how to express what they are feeling; or because of something that happened to them in the past that never got resolved and they don’t even realize it is still upsetting them.

Sometimes, anger is a way of covering up painful emotions hidden beneath the surface such as fear, hurt, guilt, shame, grief, frustration, or powerlessness.

What Anger Feels Like

Anger causes a sudden surge of adrenaline to be released into your bloodstream, which can cause physical signs such as an out-of-control burst of energy, clenching your fists, grinding your teeth, a pounding heart, rapid breathing, muscle tension, sweating, dizziness, or as though your stomach is tied up in knots. These changes are all part of the body’s fight or flight response that prepares you to confront or flee from a threat.

Teen Anger Management Tips and Techniques

Following are some anger management tips and techniques that can help slow down the process between what triggers your anger and your reaction so you can choose how to respond from a calmer perspective instead of reacting impulsively and expressing your anger in an unhealthy way.

Recognize the warning signs

Learn to identify the physical warning signs that tell you you are starting to get angry (see the section above for examples of what anger feels like).

Learn how to calm yourself

Calming techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, slowly counting to ten, squeezing a tension ball, doing something physical such as jumping jacks or taking a brisk walk, praying, and grounding exercises are all coping skills that can help you regain control of your emotions.

Take several slow deep breaths, for example, inhaling through your nose for a count of 4 and exhaling through pursed lips for a count of 8. Repeat 5 to 10 times, or until you start to feel calm. Try a grounding exercise to shift your focus from your anger to the present moment, such as identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

Release muscle tension

One way of releasing the tension in your muscles is to take a towel in both hands and wring it as tightly as you can while imagining that the knots in you are now in the towel.

Remove yourself from the situation

Walk away before reacting to cool down, regain control, think about the consequences, and keep from doing anything you might later regret.

Journal

Writing about your anger and the things that make you angry can help you identify patterns and triggers, as well as enable you to anticipate challenging situations and think of ways to avoid them or respond differently.

Plan your response

Imagine different triggering scenarios, how they might look from different perspectives, and what alternative possibilities for the way they play out could be. Practice expressing your feelings using “I” statements, and without being rude or aggressive.

Exercise

Doing some form of regular physical activity is a good way to let off steam and relieve tension. Exercise releases endorphins, which are feel-good hormones that have a calming, relaxing effect on your body, help your moods stay more even, and enable you to sleep better, too.

Reach out

There is no shame in reaching out for support. If you are struggling with anger issues talk to your parents or a trusted adult or ask to meet with a mental health specialist who can help you get to what lies beneath the surface of your anger so it can be healed, as well as equip you to handle it in healthy ways.

If you would like to speak with one of the faith-based counselors in our online directory to help with anger management, please give us a call today at Texas Christian Counseling in Allen, Texas.