Creating Space in Relationships: Relationship Advice for Men

If you’re familiar with plants, you’ll know that plants need light, water, good soil, and room to grow. Of course, the amount of each they require will differ, and that’s where having a green thumb comes in. Some people, whether by instinct or experience, can give a plant exactly what it needs to flourish, or take away the things that are stunting the plant’s growth. This skill can seem uncanny for the rest of us who struggle to grow plants.

When it comes to relationships, there can be a similar divide between those in the know, and the uninitiated. Some people seem to breeze through relationships. They know how to make friends easily, are amazing at giving gifts and meeting their friends’ needs, and can address conflict and resolve issues smoothly. Many hold them in high regard. It can feel like you either have it, or you don’t.

As with most things, however, skills can be taught and learned. Yes, some people can grasp the lessons faster than others, but you can make decent headway with consistent application. One skill to learn in relationships is how to create space for others.

Creating Space in Relationships for Others – What Is That?

Creating space for others can mean several things. For one thing, it can mean creating emotional space for someone. If a person is going through things such as loss or a difficult situation, you can create emotional space for them by allowing them to process their thoughts and feelings without judging or interrupting them. You carve out time for them to express themselves.

Giving someone emotional space also means taking on certain postures or attitudes as they share whatever is on their hearts. Men are often accused of wanting to rush toward fixing things. That may or may not be true, but giving someone emotional space means listening with empathy, respecting the other person’s emotional limits and boundaries, while avoiding giving unsolicited criticism or advice.

A second meaning behind the term “creating space” includes giving someone physical space. Whether it’s a romantic or platonic relationship, sometimes people just need to spend some time apart. You can provide one another with time apart to allow you to maintain your sense of individuality or to recharge. That time could be an hour, a day, a week, or longer.

When you create space for someone physically, you can honor their need for quiet time or solitude. It might be time required to gather their thoughts after a heated discussion. By creating space in this way, you respect another person’s personal boundaries and physical needs. You can accomplish this in several ways, including allowing time for solo activities or hobbies and creating separate spaces in a shared living area.

hird, and lastly, creating space for

omeone could mean creating

sychological space for them. No matter

how close you may be to another person, you’re not the same person. You each have your own personality, thoughts, feelings, and needs. Giving the other person space in this sense is about giving each other the freedom to make decisions, choices, and mistakes without controlling or seeking to manipulate one another.

Creating psychological space for another person means respecting differences in opinions and values. It means being okay with someone’s self-expression and independence, even if it contrasts with you. Supporting the other person’s development and personal growth, as well as avoiding being possessive or jealous of them and their other relationships. In other words, they can be their own person and flourish in ways independent of you.

Why Creating Space for Others Matters

Creating space in relationships can be difficult for several reasons. It could just be that it feels foreign to relate to others that way. Our role models and past experiences shape us in powerful ways, and it’s possible to learn other ways of being in relationship with others. Another reason may be that if there are certain insecurities or issues such as codependency at work, it’s hard to create space for others.

Creating space for other people is good for you because it allows you to remember that the other person has autonomy and exists apart from you. Codependent traits can creep into how we relate to others. We can stunt personal development by not creating space. Some ways creating space for others can benefit your relationships as a man include the following:

• It can encourage an atmosphere of trust and respect in the relationship.
• It supports personal growth.
• It can enhance connection and intimacy.
• It can nurture healthy communication.

Emotional intelligence is a part of any healthy relationship. Emotional intelligence means that a person understands their own emotions, can regulate their own emotions, and can understand as well as respond appropriately to the needs and emotions of others. For healthy relationships, a man needs to have emotional intelligence. This will allow him to know when and how to best create space for the people in his life.

Learning emotional intelligence and how to create space for others can require lots of work. That work could include surfacing any latent insecurities, struggles with assertive communication, addressing any deficiencies in dealing with conflict in a healthy way, and an openness to learn. With help from a counselor, you could do the work and learn these skills to create healthy, vibrant relationships in which you and others flourish.

Reaching Out for Help

If you feel like you would like to explore issues of creating space, building emotional intelligence, or creating healthy relationships, reach out to our office today. We can pair you with a counselor suited to your needs.